Amnesia Girl
by HopelesslyDaring
Summary: Schizophrenia, acute paranoia, and short-term memory loss are not things you can just sweep aside. Not for Scarlet Angel Weathers. But this must be pushed aside when she's sent to Camp Green Lake for murder. To go with the fear, she also must dress as a boy to attract no attention. How can she remember to be a guy when the only thing separating her secret from D-Tent is a hat?
1. Humans are Cruel

**Hello peoplz! I am the same person who wrote Living in Holes and Say Something. But I came up with another Holes story because I was re-writing old books. This one is called Be the Boy starring normal D-Tent and a girl named Scarlet Angel who has Schizophrenia, a type of mental illness. Google it. Lol. I hope you enjoy it. I love mental people.**

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><p>It was officially the worst day of my life.<p>

Who knew murder was a crime? Apparently, you can't kill your inmates. I only killed her because she threatened my family and almost slit my throat in the middle of the night. That's a full-on right to kill someone. The girl that I killed, I think, René, was a girl who lived a few rooms down from me. With rooms I mean in one big building. And by building I mean mental hospital. That's where I've lived for the past 4 years. They stuck me there when I was 12 because drawing pictures of dead people is freaky or sick. I was diagnosed with acute paranoia, the brim of schizophrenia, and short-term memory loss. In other words, I was insane.

The first few days after the murder were filled with confusion and anger. No one could feel what I felt. It was like I was blind, trapped in a world alone and dark. I couldn't tell anyone how I felt because they didn't understand. I felt like Helen Keller, the woman I looked up to. She was alone and cut off from reality but managed to live her life to the fullest. That was my dream. "Scarlet Weathers, please rise." I stood with shaky knees in front of the court. "Any last comments before the jury reaches a verdict?" I nodded slightly. "Yes, your honor." I turned to the jury and let out the most heartfelt comment I could bring out.

"Just put aside your hatred for the weak once and think of how the crazy feel. I may not be right in the head. And there is no telling who I'll kill next. But I've felt more pain and suffering than you'll ever imagine in your entire lives. That I'll always remember." I stared at all of them another moment before sitting back down. It was all I could say. Anything else would be begging, and I don't beg.

"Thank you, Miss Weathers. The court shall take a short break and gather once again when it has come to a conclusion. You are dismissed." Barely anyone was in the courtroom so I didn't see why he needed to make such a big deal of it. I glanced over to um...Reine ? No René's family whom were glaring at me with sorrowful eyes. Hey, she threatened me! It's a way of life. You can't threaten a girl when you don't know what she's capable of. My mother pierced me with her eyes. I hated that woman. I barely ever called her my mom. She was a witch and should be in my place. She was half the reason I was crazy. Therapists say that insane people are just children who were never treated right.

Unfortunately, that's true. I stood up and tried to slip away from her grasp. She caught me by the back of my hair and pulled. I didn't scream, but whimpered. She came closer to my ear. "You've done it now, bi***." She hissed. "Excuse me, who are you?" I asked, pretending to false my memory loss on her. "Shut up, Scarlet. You'll get yours. You will get yours. Because now I'm the lady down the block with a mental daughter. How nice..." The sick beast released me and I ran to my father. He was the only man to trust in your life. Unless the father was abusive.

Dad never noticed how horrid mom was. It reminded me of Cinderella. Except dad was still alive. Thank god for that. I hugged him and tried to get away from the demon I called mother. "It's alright, Angel, It's alright." I wasn't scared of the trial. No, they could stick me in an abyss and I'd be fine with that. At least I wouldn't be confused. People were cruel and selfish. That made them humans.

Finally, after a few minutes of nervously awaiting my fate, the judge came back. He slammed him wooden gavel and it sounded like the bell for death roll. "Attention! The jury has made a verdict." One woman with short blond hair and a tight black dress stood. "We, the jury, find the defendant, Scarlet Angel Weathers, under the accusations of murder, guilty." That really didn't surprise me. I put my heart and soul into those words. I sighed. Ingrates.

"Who saw that coming?" I mumbled so only I could hear. The faces of my victim's family lit up like they won the lottery. Nice. The judge solemnly looked at me. "For punishment for your crimes, Miss Weathers, I offer you two options. You could be immediately sent to a prison. But I know a camp for troubled teens whom can set you in the right path. Your choice, Camp Green Lake or Jail?" There obviously was only one option. "Will they allow mental kids in camp?"

**Thanks for reading :P**

**~M&M**


	2. My Sucky Arrival

I'd never been to camp before and I actually I was a little bummed out. Camp meant interacting with other humans. Crap. I stepped onto the yellow bus that made me want to vomit. Dirt caked the windows. I'd never been to Texas before. A giant load of crap that was this bus was not my first choice to arrive in. The moment I stepped in, I was handcuffed by a tall man with black hair and a thick mustache.

He was a police officer and carried a rifle. He pushed me aboard and I took a seat. The bus took off taking me away from old people to see new people. The day was sucking already and it wasn't even noon yet. The bus passed by houses of friends I'd forgotten long ago.

I was diagnosed at 13 years old. It scared me to know it would be hard to change all of this stuff. My thoughts on living normally were hopeful but inside I knew there was nothing to be done. Once the flame is lit and no one is around to tame it, the fire only grows.

I awoke with a jerk when the bus hit a giant bump. I couldn't remember where I was and I started freaking out. Then my fingers touched the handcuffs and the memories flowed back. That was the cool thing about my memory loss. I could forget things then touch an item that was in that memory and it all would come back. I liked to think of it as my own little superpower.

Outside, within the dust-filled air, I could see holes. They started out as few then it began to look like the craters in the moon. Why were there so many freakin holes? I attempted to ask the police officer, but relented. He seemed like he hated me enough. I noticed how much the heat had grown. It didn't come as a huge surprise, I mean, come on. It's Texas we're talking about. But the fact that we drove through what looked like a desert surprised me. There was no signs of civilization anywhere.

They've come to drop me off in the middle of no where and torture me! _They're relatives of René,_ I panicked. All these crazy thoughts ran through my head until I kind of dazed off. Another bump sent me back into reality. Then the bus slowed. A small camp was set up with shacks and many tents. Boys walked around in bright orange prison suits. _It is prison_, I thought. I began to wonder where the girls were. I bet they didn't like the hideous orange either.

The grumpy police officer took my handcuffs off. I grabbed my bag and left the bus. "Fresh meat!" Calls sounded. I tried to turn to see who it was through the cloudy air. I was suddenly yanked inside a shack and away from people. I blinked a few times before remembering where I was. An even grumpier old man and a pretty woman stood in front of me.

"Who are you?" I asked. "Call me Ms. Walker and that's Mr. Sir." I almost laughed at his name but bit my lip instead. Better not get in trouble on the first day. "Are you Scarlet Weathers?" Ms. Walker asked. "I-I think so." I searched my mind for any evidence then remembered who I was. She rolled her eyes. "Scarlet, you can't be a girl." "What?" I asked not sure if I heard that right. "The boys here would ge-" "Wait, I'm sorry Ms. Walker but aren't there girls here already?" I asked. She smirked. "No, Scarlet. This is an all boys detention center."

I was ready to faint. _**All boys!?**_ I'd never make it. I would never make it. "Look, Scarlet. I can allow you to do time here but you have to pretend to be a boy. If you were a girl, the boys would be too distracted and fights would break out. They haven't seen a girl in more than a few years, ya know." I would be fun. "It won't be hard. You already look like a boy now so all you'd have to do is where a hat."

My jaw fell open. She did not just insult me. I held back the urge to start a fight and nodded. "Yes ma'am." "Good. If you ever need me, Pendanski will show you where to go." I didn't ask about the dude with the long name. Then Mr. Sir took over. "Ok, this ain't no Girl Scout camp so you won't be getting any special treatment. You dig a hole every day, 5 feet in every dimension. You'll have a set of clothing."

He handed me two hideous jump suits like everyone else's. He tossed some ugly brown boots at me and a New York Giants baseball hat. "Cover up your hair in that hat before going anywhere. Maybe lie about your name. Just be boyish." I nodded. "Got it?" He demanded. "Yes, Mr. Sir." He nodded. "Now change." "Turn around and we can compromise." He sighed and they both turned around. I changed into the orange jumpsuit that killed me to where it. I looked like a giant fruit. I started dreaming about dancing giant fruits when Ms. Walker clapped her hands. "Get your hat on, Scarlet." I tucked my light red hair in the hat and slipped it on. Ms. Walker studied me. "I guess you'll do. You look 13, but you'll do." I smiled.


	3. The Run-in with Juveniles

"Welcome Scarlet Weathers!" I turned around and saw the dorkiest man ever. He had kill-me-now khakis on, a giant sun hat, and a slab of white crap on his nose His sunburn was on his cheeks though. "I'm Dr. Pendanski, your counselor. Welcome to Camp Green Lake!" I sighed. "Alright, follow me." He led me down the camp and pointed out the Wreck Room, Mess Hall, Warden's cabin, and showers. "You'll be in D-Tent. I bet the boys will accommodate you well." I rolled my eyes and tried to remember the name of the camp again. Pendanski led me to a large green canvas tent with D hung on the front. He opened the front and led me inside.

"The boys seem to be not here right now. I'll leave you to get unpacked and check up on you later. There's an empty bed right over there. Good luck." He patted my back and left. I was alone. Finally. A smile grew on my lips. This would be fun. I loved playing dress up when I was a kid. This would be the same thing. It was just acting in a way. I prepared myself. I made sure none of my girl parts were visible and I looked like a boy. I practiced walking and talking. Then I unpacked. I hid my feminine things and put my notebooks and pictures under my bed. When I was settled, I heard footsteps heading inside. I prepared for the worst. The tent flap opened and three guys entered. Two were African American and the other was Caucasian.

"Who the hell are you?" One black oversized boy asked. "S-Simon... I'm new here." I said in my boyish voice. They seemed to buy it. "Well, I'm X-Ray, dats Armpit and Squid." The weirdest names. I quickly took out my sharpie and wrote their names on my wrists. That's where I kept all of my information. When the names faded, they were forgotten."What're you here for?" Armpit asked. "I-Uh...killed my girlfriend." Nice! Shows that you are a boy and some toughness! Nice one! I mentally partied. "Really? Why?" Squid asked.

"She cheated on me with my brother." I lied. Squid nodded. "Welcome to D-Tent, bro."I smirked and acted punk. This would be so much fun! I giggled inside and tried not to let my girl out. I sat down and a few more tenters came in. "Hey, ya'll this Simon, new guy." I glanced at each of them. "This is Caveman, Zero, ZigZag, and Magnet." Caveman seemed shy and backed away. Zero was silent and acted as if I never was there. Magnet smirked and walked away while ZigZag stared at me. I was starting to get creeped out. "What's up with you, bro?" I asked casually.

"Zig's crazy. Squid looked at his file. He's got acute paranoia." My adrenaline glands bursted. Another crazy! I wasn't alone! I attempted to hold my excitement in. ZigZag pulled his stare away from me and to his bed. Unfortunately, it was next to mine. "Simon over here killed his girlfriend." I turned away and rolled my eyes. Idiots. "Why are you so short?" ZigZag asked. I turned to him. "Because...I'm part Italian? I mean yeah, Italian." Yes, I stretched the truth. I was 1/4 Italian, not half." He shrugged. I began to unpack my stuff more. "Well, you don't talk much." Magnet remarked. I turned around. "Actually, yes, yes I do. I just don't like people. They're selfish, cruel, and sick." I explained. "But aren't you a person?" Caveman asked. I stared at him. "I am. Don't know if any of you are though. My kind of person thinks about others. Even the ment-men..."

Ah crap! I sounded gay... They had shocked faces and I winced. Great. Nice impression. "And in men I mean my older brother who's very sick..." Ok, now it didn't sound that bad. But still a little gay. "You're such a girl." Squid muttered.

I grew angry. I balled his shirt up in my fist and slammed him to the floor. "Name a girl who'll beat the shit outta you like I'm about to." His eyes grew wide. "Cool it, Simon." I left him and went back to unpacking. A bell than rang through my ears sounded. "What the-" "Dinner Bell." Magnet said. I nodded. Man, now I was a bitch. I didn't want to be that. I followed them to the mess hall. Boys were crowded everywhere and I was scared.

I pulled my hat on a little tighter and grabbed a tray. What they served looked like mud and water mixed together. I almost choked at the thought. When they put it on my tray I followed E, I mean D-tent to a table. "Hey, Squid sorry for back there. I've just been mad with my girlfriend and needed to let off some steam." "It's cool, Simon." I smiled underneath my hat and tried to get down the horrid slop. The only thing decent was the bread. I bit my lip when I was finished and tossed my plate away. "You left like almost everything on your plate." Squid said with a confused face. "Not real hungry. I ate before the bus ride." I lied. They looked at me like I could be lying but shrugged it off. Note: Be careful around these guys.

I walked back to C? No, D tent and wrote Be careful around boys on my wrist. I sat on my bed and started writing reminders on my notepad. The book was practically filled up. I had two more completed ones at the hospital. I wrote the names of every camper and made a detailed description of them. I smiled and drew pictures to go along with the names. My drawings of people were the only ones I liked. Because they were silent. I felt a strand of hair falling from my hat so I tucked it in. Things couldn't be this easy.


	4. Little Man

"Wake up campers! Bright and early! Shining faces! Shining faces!" I rolled my eyes and sat up. No one was awake, so I secretly changed into new clothes. The moment I was done, they began to wake up. I slapped my hat on my head and went outside for a shovel. Some other dudes were around the library. I kinda thought it was ironic that the library was just filled with gloves and shovels.

I made sure to keep my head down and not attract attention. I started thinking about...um...ZigZag? Yeah. He didn't look like most mental people at the hospital. He looked a little scary, like he knew I was a girl. Maybe he had x-ray vision and could see through my clothes. A shiver ran up my spine and the image formed in my mind. Gross. I glanced around and saw everyone was up. A hand patted my back and I immediately tensed. "Ya aight?" Came X-Ray, no Squid, no Armpit? I didn't know how to reply because I didn't know the boy. "Wait, what's your name again?" I asked.

The boy gave me a confused look. "Magnet. I thought I told you my name, man." I nodded. "Y-Yeah, It just went in and out.I'll remember. Sorry, Magnet," He smirked. "No problem." The boy left and I felt better. As long as I didn't talk to anyone no one would notice. I grabbed a shovel and we traveled out to the emptiness.

My hands were bleeding by the time the water truck came. I winced when I tore off the brown gloves. The intense heat made me nauseous. I was ready to faint when Stanley called me over. I walked over to the truck where they were all lined up. I got to the back behind Zero. Each of them had their jugs filled with water and a few crackers.

When I had my stuff, I went back to my hole and sat. I looked down and shrieked in my girl voice. In my hole was a giant yellow lizard with large spots on it's back. It's eyes met with mine and hissed. I kicked away. It sprang out of the hole and leaped at me. I grabbed my shovel and hit the thing with the metal tip. It flew into an empty hole. "Guys! What the hell was that?!" I asked. They all sprinted over to me.

"That's a yellow-spotted lizard, Simon." I listened to it hiss and scratch the dirt. I scrambled up and worked on my hole. "What's with that girly scream?" X-Ray scoffed. "I...ah...had something in my throat." Stanley took a second look at me, before heading back to his hole. The rest of the day, the sun burnt my cheeks to pink roses. I was the last person out there and my hands were stinging and dripping with blood.

I bit my lip and attempted to crawl out of the hole but nothing worked. I finally propped my legs up on the edge and pulled myself out. "Nice," I muttered. With tender hands, I took my jug and shovel and left. Everyone was in the mess hall when I got back. I threw down my things and wrapped a a long white bandage around my right hand and trotted to the mess hall. They were eating and it was pretty quiet. I grabbed whatever they called food and sat at the table. "Where the hell have you been?" Squid asked.

"Digging. I'm surprised that I'm not dead yet, though." They laughed. "What happened to your hand?" Caveman asked. I glanced down at my hand and pulled it into my lap. "Just blisters. It's from my first hole, I guess." X-Ray started to ramble how the 2nd hole is the hardest because my hands begin to hurt again. It made sense so I nodded and ate. When I glanced up at Zig, he was staring at me with wide eyes. But maybe not at me. His gaze was tilted a bit upwards and he was frozen.

A deep scared feeling sunk in. I was ready to ask if there was anything behind me when a voice boomed over my head. "This shrimp is your new camper? Do you have any more dignity left in you?" I didn't want to turn around, but everyone else did so I joined. There was a guy almost as tall as ZigZag but much stronger. He had short dirty blond hair with clods of mud stuck in. His smirk was dry and mean. I immediately wasn't fond of this brute. He glared down at me. Shit. "Who're you? He asked.

"Si-" I began but was caught off by X-Ray. "That's Little Man." _Little Man_? I thought about the new nickname. It had a nice ring to it. "Little Man?" The giant gorilla repeated. "You gotta be looks like a poodle." I tapped my hands together. "Wow, Gorilla. You know English! Congratulations, that's a big step for someone like you." He growled and turned red.

"Little Man...Don't..." I heard Squid whisper. I had no idea where that came from, but the urge to get this guy away from us kicked in. "You wanna start something!" He exclaimed, getting in my face. I lightly pushed him away. "Alright, next lesson: Learn to take a tic-tac. Because your breath reeks." He growled louder and pulled me off the ground. I suddenly got frightened. I'd messed with born criminal.

**Thank you for reading! I do announce I'm taking requests so feel free to review the name, why the person was sent to Green lake, the boy (optional), and plot. Thx!**

**~M&M**


	5. A Sight to See

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Little Man." I pulled my hat down a little more. If I was going to get beat up, might as well get beaten as a boy. "Just try." I muttered. He punched me in the stomach and dropped me on the floor. I hit my back hard and winced. He picked me back up and punched me across the face. I fell back. I'd never been punched before and it stung. I touched my flaming cheek and winced. I stood back up and got ready to punch him. I hit his rock hard stomach and he laughed. "Wimp." He slammed me down to the ground and against his knee. My forehead felt bruised and I wanted desperately for this to end. "Lump, stop it man." I heard one of the campers say. Lump dragged me off the floor and threw blows to my stomach. It struck my ribs each time and ached. "Lump, Stop!" Another yelled. Lump punched me in the face again and my lip started bleeding. "You're killin him!" Another yelled. Suddenly, it all stopped. Lump had been yanked off me by D-Tent. I backed away from him and ran out the door. I wanted to never see these people again. They were here to kill me. To kill me! I rushed through the tent and fell onto my cot. Blood from my lip dripped down to my hand and splattered like red paint. I strand of hair fell from my hat and I shoved it back in. I yanked off my hat and ran my fingers through my red hair. I wound it back up in my hat and sighed. Finally, I around and saw Zero staring at me. Perfect. "Y-You didn't just see that, did you?" I nervously asked. He nodded. Great, just great. I can't even hide it for two days! I sighed. "I'm not Simon." I admitted. "I'm Scarlet." He smiled and stood up. "I won't tell them, Scarlet." He left the tent without another word and I smiled. At least Zero could keep a secret. Suddenly, D-Tent rushed inside. "Little Man, you aight?" X-Ray asked. "Yeah," I muttered, wiping blood off of my hands. "Why didn't you kick his ass back there?" Armpit exclaimed. "Who?" I asked. "Lump, of course." I crooked an eyebrow. Who in the hell would be named Lump? "Who's Lump?" I asked them once more. They gave me crazy looks. "Lump is the thing that beat you into a pulp 2 minutes ago." I began to grow frightened of the suspicion and touched my skin—anywhere. My fingers landed to my ribs and I winced. The memory splashed back over me and I remembered our brawl. "Oh, that Lump." I mumbled. "I don't know. I let the baby think I'm weak. Then I'll tear him apart next time." They smiled and nodded. "Good idea, Little Man. That's pretty smart." Magnet said. I weakly smiled as they left. I just wanted to go home. Not home to mom or to the mental hospital. I wanted my dad. He would take me away from this hell. He wouldn't make me be a boy. I wished my problems would go away. I wish I didn't have short-term memory loss or schizophrenia or the crazy. I wish I was just a normal red-head girl dressing as a boy in a detention camp. But the disorders had to set me off. Thank you for reading! You all rock! Review please ~M&M 


	6. We Just Need Crazy

_**Hey Ho! Sorry about the set up up the last chapter. I forgot to fix it up. Enjoy! **_

No one really gets lucky. That person just happens to be at the right place whist something great happens. My luck didn't turn out to be great, but more misfortunate. I lost my sleep that night. I couldn't stop thinking about my boy act and how it would fail soon. It was a terrible thought. I was pretty much lying to them each day.

I stayed up writing every person's name on my arm. I needed the reminders. If not, I'd wake up clueless about the world. I wouldn't know where I was or who I was. Though my hair reminded me of my name. That helped. But frankly, I'd forgotten my middle name. That precise thing happened in the morning. I couldn't tell you any information. I glanced over at the names and any reminders. Finally, the memories came into clarity.

I yawned and pulled myself out of bed. I winced as my hands reached for a brush. I took my hat off and combed my hair back into it's original place. I slapped the hat back on and left the tent. There were a little bit of people outside. They had honey-covered tortillas or ham...whatever it was. I dared not take one though. I might've puked. Instead, I grabbed a shovel and watched the crowds form. We were out on the digging site not that long afterwards.

The first few rays of sunlight were beginning to peak through and I was ready to kill myself. Or throw myself in hole. Whatever would come first. We started our holes and I barely managed. Glares were thrown at me. I guess I did look like a girl to F-Tent—I mean D-Tent. After hours, my hole wasn't that big and I was sweating a lot. My hair was curling out so I had to take extra time to stuff it up in my hat again. The truck came along and I wanted to drive away to somewhere I didn't know. At least it would be better than Camp Re-I mean Camp Green Lake.

I snatched my snack from Pendanski and sat alone at my hole. "Sup, Simon." A voice came. I glanced up and saw ZigZag standing, eying me suspiciously. "Hey," I mumbled. He sat on the opposite end and stared at me. I stared back. "Who are you working for?" He asked. "Who are you working for?" He was taken back a bit. "I'm not working for anyone. But for hell sure, I know you are. And don't lie to me." He growled. I crooked an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Tell your boss that I won't spill any information no matter how much money he offers. I am insignificant in your plans for attack, so **don't** use me. Don't get in my head.." I rambled not paying attention to my words. His eyes were huge and he stood up. "You're crazy..." He muttered. I smiled and waved. "More than you think, Zig." He ran off to his hole and I was relieved to be rid of him.


	7. Scarlet Angel

**sorry for the long wait. I love you so much! I would love 3 more reviews to unlock the next chapter. This one may be a bit slow, but it kicks up soon. Just 3 reviews. Thank you!**

**~M&M**

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><p>I had to say, ZigZag and I were much alike. Crazy, scary, scary...I laughed and walked back to camp alone. The one with the cheeky smile was next to me telling of how he'd gotten to Green Lake. Something about a pair of shoes.<p>

"So, the judge gave me an option of jail or here. Pretty simple." He finished. I cocked my head at him and smirked.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"16, why?" He replied.

"Oh, no reason. I was just curious." He shrugged.

"Um, I wanted to ask you, Simon...after you fought with Lump. Are you really...really gay?" I laughed so hard I had to hold my hat to keep it from falling off. I caught my breath finally said.

"N-No..." I felt the urge to pull my hat off and tell him, but I knew the consequences. I'd already revealed it to Zero.

"Oh. Alright, that's a relief." He sighed.

"Why?" He shrugged.

"Ya know, gay guy in an all-boys camp. Stuff happens." I nodded and smirked.

"You're pretty cool, um..." He stared at me, concerned.

"Stanley...my name is Stanley." I nodded.

"Yeah, so can you keep a promise...I mean a secret, well both really." Stanley stopped and nodded.

"Yeah, of course. What's up?" I looked around to make sure we were alone. Coast: Clear.

"Okay...I've kinda lied to everyone. And I know I shouldn't be telling you this because it'll affect my future here and whatnot. But, I'm dying to tell, Stanley." He gave me a crazy look.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. With a shaky sigh, I reached for my hat and pulled it off. My hair fell and curled down my back. Stanley's eyes were huge, and he became pale.

"Y-You're a girl?" He whimpered. I ran my hands through my ginger hair and nodded.

"Yeah...I couldn't tell anyone, but I kinda trust you. So, don't screw anything up and tell anybody. Zero already found out."

"How did they allow you here? It's an all-boys camp." I rolled my eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock. I pledged to dress as a guy. It was that or jail and, like you said, it was a simple choice." He cracked a smile.

"I-I won't tell. But is your name really Simon?" I smiled.

"No, it's Scarlet Angel. That's what I call myself."


	8. GIRL

He kept his promise. Thank god for that. I would've been ruined. It was stupid and risky, yes, but nice to let it go. I kept a tight grip on my hat as Stanley stared at me from the tent.

"I'm not an alien, ya know." I mumbled.

"Yeah, I know. You're just really pretty.." I blushed pink and bit my lip.

"Thanks..." Stanley shifted his position and I bundled my hair back up in the hat.

"How long are you going to stay like that?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Until my time is up, I guess. And you aren't going to tell...anyone. Or I'll choke you in a hole." He smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I won't tell." Soon, the rest of D-Tent came back. I'd missed dinner. I grabbed a change of clothes and rushed out to the empty shower stalls. There couldn't be anyone around. Luckily, there wasn't. I quickly washed under the freezing cold water. I changed back into my jumpsuit afterwards and dared not complain about the hideous colors.

"Simon," I froze and saw the warden. My shoulders fell.

"Oh, hi," I greeted and faced her.

"How's the costume thing working?" She asked.

"Good, it's great." I lied between my teeth.

"Okay, good. Also I wanted to tell you, if there's anything you need just come and ask. Even showers, I know it can be difficult, so anything, just come and ask." For a minute she seemed really friendly. I nodded.

"Thank you, ma'am." I left back to the tent and made sure to secure my hat again. I stuffed my dirty clothes in a bag.

"Dude, you're kidding..." X-Ray mumbled.

"Nah man, I'm serious. that's what Rocko said." I glanced back over to them.

"Yo, What're ya'll talking 'bout?" Armpit asked.

"Pit, Rocko saw a girl here. He saw her in the showers." I froze and every muscle I had stiffened. I god hoped they didn't notice. I heard Stanley and Zero take in a sharp breath.

"Yeah, Rocko didn't get a good look of her, but he said she was hot." I turned red and pulled my hat down more.

"Man, we gotta find this chica." Magnet remarked.

"What'do you think, Little Man?" One of them asked. I tried my best not to stutter or crack my voice.

"I-I really don't care." I coughed to make it look realistic, but I would not turn around. They knew. They knew someone here was a girl. I'd defiantly be the first to go.

"Hey, you don't know. It may've been the warden." Stanley suggested. I almost ran over and hugged him. But that would give things away.

"Maybe, he did say she had red hair. So does the warden so...maybe." X-Ray said. They soon went to bed and I was terrified. All hell would break loose if they found out.

"Get up you low-lived pieces of crap!" Pensdanski screamed. I lugged myself out of bed and rubbed my crusty eyes. My memories of yesterday were foggy and clouded with memory loss. I went outside and found every boy talking with one another for some strange reason. They were snickering and carrying on about a girl. I took a shovel and winced at the pain. That would scar...forever.

"Hey, Scarlet Angel." I glanced behind and saw a kid with messy brown hair and droopy eyes.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I crooked an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You keep asking who I am and looking at me like you've never met me before. Are you alright?" asked him. I began to panic. I scratched down to my arm and saw Stanley sprawled in bold black letters.

"Oh, y-yeah...Sorry Stanley...Just a joke." I set my hand on his to remember him. It was cold but soft.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"N-Nothing...I just want to thank you...For suggesting the warden last night. It saved my hide." I rushed, my memories returning.

"No sweat. I'm your friend, right?" He asked. I nodded and we began walking to the digging site.

"But you have to be more careful with that. I'm not always around for that." I nodded.

"The warden said I could shower at her place." I pulled my hat down.

"But I think they'll find out. Sometime they will. You have more than a year right?" asked Stanley. I nodded and bit my lip.

"Then watch your back."

"Alright,"


	9. Not my Memory

The thing about being watched is that you know it because you can feel the stare and you get uncomfortable. But then there's a stare when you desperately want it to end. You would break the silence for it. Sunlight gleamed down on my skin and made me sweat a lot. I liked to stare at people but not in ways that made them feel uncomfortable. But in ways that let that person know I was still existing. Maybe it was weird. Maybe it was normal. But that didn't matter because I liked to do it anyway.

An uncomfortable stare that wouldn't really go away. It was definitely Zigzag's. Geez what's up with his new-found obsession with me? I tried to ignore it when the water truck pulled up. It wasn't the time to come front to him. I refilled my jug and worked more on the hole. Soon, I saw a shadow cast over the hole, so I turned around. A tall, darkened body stood over me.

"ZigZag?" He crouched down and I saw his face better.

"You know the girl don't you?" He rushed. I was alarmed and leaned on the side of the hole.

"I-I...yeah..." What the hell?! Why did I say I knew her?

"You do?" He asked seeming confused.

"Y-Yeah...I met her a few days ago." I tried not to hyperventilate over my words.

"What's her name?" I froze. Crap.

"Um...um...Felicity...I think." He gave me an original stare and walked away. What was up with him?

"Little Man said her name was Felicity." I silently walked a far ways away from them. My hands were stinging and I really didn't know what to do.

"Felicity? Seriously?" Stanley teased me.

"What was I supposed to do? I panicked. Felicity was the first name on my mind." I complained.

"Well, we can't do anything now, Felicity." I shoved him and he laughed.

"Not funny, smarty pants. It'll die down when Felicity isn't found." Stanley scoffed.

"You're kidding, right? When we had a new thing on our menu, everyone was talking about. The slightest change affects Green Lake majorly. I'd be more careful."

"You tell me all the time, Stanley. I know. I try. I don't want to get caught. This is harder on me than it is on you, huh?" I suggested.

"Yep," We came back to the camp sooner or later.

"Felicity? Really?" Zero began. I shot him a look as the boy pranced up. Stanley laughed again.

"I improvised!" They both began to laugh, and I stormed off into the tent. I began to search through my bag for anything to keep me busy. There wasn't much except for pictures of my dad and me at my arrival in the mental hospital. Dad must've put them in there, because I laugh crazily every time I look at it, and there wasn't anything funny in it. I glanced at the picture with me in the doorway with a thumbs up and a big grin. Finally, I burst into laughter like I usually did. I soon ran out of air and had to gasp. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Retorted a sharp voice. I glanced over and saw an annoyed ZigZag.

"Oh, just something really not funny." I sat back up.

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing, Never mind." He climbed next to me.

"Is that a picture?" He asked. Picture?

"What are you talking about?" Zig cocked his eyebrow.

"The one in your hand?" I glanced down at the thing in my hand and laughed. It was the picture of my arrival to the mental hospital. It was of me in the doorway with a thumbs up and a big grin.

"This one is funny." He glanced over at it.

"Who's the girl?" He asked.

"Oh that's m-That's my sister, she's older now." He smiled a crazy smile.

"Who is she? How old?" How old? Who?

"Um, Daphne. She's 16 now," ZigZag smirked.

"Is she single?"

I froze.

I freaking froze.

He was pretty much asking me out in terms. I couldn't believe he was asking if Da–I was single.

"Y-yeah, Daphne is." I managed out.

"Where is she at?" Without a thought I said, "A mental hospital. It was her first day."

Zig's eyes grew wide.

"You're kidding, really?" I had to say mental hospital. Why couldn't I've said hospital, period? No mental. I decided to go along with the mental hospital.

"Nah, Daphne was sweet but had a vivid imagination. I never found too much wrong with her. You'd like her, Ziggy." He smiled and touched my face in the picture.

"Mind if I keep it for a while?" He asked.

"Keep it? Why? What's wrong, man?" He sighed and sat back.

"I don't know any people who are like me. I don't have many life-lines either. Caveman calls them that. They're like things you bring that are relations to home. Well, I'm out and, sorry to ask, I need something to keep me up—Even if it's not _my_ memory."

My heart crumbled.

I was so tempted to rip off my hat and hug him tightly. It would've felt so perfect. But, I couldn't do it. I just handed ZigZag my photo, suddenly feeling he needed it more than I did.

"You're letting me borrow it?" I smiled and pressed it to him.

"I'm letting you have it. Daphne would do it. Brother to a brother?" Then, it clicked. Something wafered through us. It was an honest friendship developing. We were actually becoming friends. ZigZag smirked and thumbed the edge of my picture.

"Thanks, Little Man. You're pretty cool." I beamed.

"Thank, Zig." I crawled back to my shelf thing and reminisced more.


	10. A Girl in the Guy's Bathroom

**Holy Chiznuggets! I had a great idea. Please, if you're reading this chapter, pay attention. I**'**ll put up a distraction for you.**

**Anyways, I had this great idea. What if two authors tied each other's characters in. It doesn't have to be like the characters burst in or something. But like what if Skye from ****Life in a Hole**** was mentioned by Sara Rudden from ****This is Gonna be a Fun Eighteen Months**** as like a distant cousin or something. By the away, if the authors of the previous books are reading this, YOU ARE AWESOME. Just saying. Good idea? Nay? Yay? I don't know. It was just a cool idea. I hope you love this next chapter. ;)**

**~M&M**

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><p>Days passed of work, blood, and a hell of a lot a' sweat. It was tiring but the cheesy jokes Magnet and Squid cracked kept me up a little. Of course there was Stanley and Zero, connecting more and more with me every day. ZigZag didn't say much. He usually never did. It was silent Steve for him. I coughed, shooing away the dust clouds in my face. It was exhausting. As I began my work again, there was a call for X-Ray. Stanley was waving him over and A-crap, D-tent was following. I decided to see the ruckus.<p>

I crawled out of my hole and approached my friend. In his hand was a silver little tube. There wasn't much to describe it from. The object was defiantly a lipstick tube. The initials K.B. were engraved on the small, silver item. X-Ray swiped the tube away before I couldn't examine it better.

"K.B? What's that stand for?" It was passed around to ZigZag.

"I know who that is," He declared.

"Keith Barrenger." Squid crocked his eyebrow.

"Who's Keith Barrenger, man?" The boy asked.

"He was in my math class." I nearly burst out laughing. But, hey, if you don't know an answer, make up a funny option instead. That was what Zig did. They grumbled mean words to Zig and snatched the tube away. There was no more use in listening to them, so I continued to dig my hole to get fairly ahead.

"He just took it as his?" I asked Stanley to clarify.

"Yeah, X-Ray is gonna turn the lipstick tube into Mom tomorrow."

"He's a total jerk. You could beat him up, Stanley." The boy shook his head.

"No way. I could never go against him, Scarlet Angel." I sighed. Stanley seemed way too soft for most things, although, he was tall and looked really strong.

"Fine," We were walking down the dirt road created by the wheels of traveling buses. None of it was paved. It must've been that way because the warden didn't want to spend the money on asphalt. It was like 100$ per foot. Instead, she allowed buses to do her dirty work. The Warden was one woman I'd never seen the likes of before. When we got back to camp, it was still bright outside.

So, I hung out in the Wreck Room and attempted to play pool. It wasn't very easy since D-tent had played for a long time. When my embarrassing game was over, I sat on the torn up couch next to Zig. He was staring at the Tv. It seemed scribbled up at first, but then showed the picture of "American Dad". I smiled.

"I love this show," I remarked.

"What? American Dad?" Zig asked, turning around.

"Yeah. I used to watch it with Daphne at home." He gave me an odd look.

"No one else can see it." I rolled my eyes.

"Right, the show is playing right there." I imitated. He smiled.

"I know," Suddenly a joke came up, and we laughed in harmony. A weird connection was forming, and I wasn't sure if it was okay or not. I just wanted it to go on. He turned back to the Tv screen and smirked. Finally, after a while of watching with Zig, I ate dinner and went back to D-Tent. Arguing was going on. Squid was snapping at Magnet.

"I'm going in, Mag." Squid retorted.

"You wanna get sent to a real jail, bro? Keep back," Magnet calmly said, but I could sense anger in his tone of voice.

"Shut up, man."

"What's going on?" I asked, entering the tent.

"Squidy wants to sneak into the warden's cabin to find the chica." Huh?

"What chica?" I asked, sitting on my cot. Magnet gave me an odd look. I forgot something, didn't I?

"The girl in Camp Green Lake, Simon. We talked about a couple days ago, man." Crap, crap, crap. I pretended to play along, having no idea what they were talking about.

"Oh, okay." Squid shot me an annoyed look.

"What's wrong with you?" He growled. My palms immediately began to sweat. NO.

"I've just had a long day, bro. No sweat." Actually lots of sweat—on my hands. Squid shrugged it off and continued to fight with Magnet.

"Hey, why don't we just wait until next time she showers?" Armpit offered. They all nodded in agreement. But, oh, I was in line with the Warden. There was no way I'd lose there. Soon, we were all asleep and worry came back. I was worried about my disorder becoming apparent and I forgetting things. It was acting up more and more. I shut my eyes and pushed it away. I had to be more careful around Z-crap, I mean D-tent. Ugh!

More time passed. I showered in the Warden's cabin. Days later, a problem occurred. "Scarlet, I'll be leaving for a week to my cousin's marriage. You'll have to shower normally in the stalls. Good luck," She patted my back and left. I was stunned. She did not just leave me exposed. NO. NO. NO. It was the day I needed to take a shower. Because I refused to be smelly. It was just a girl-thing. They'd checked stalls frequently, but the idea of a girl in Green Lake soon died out. Maybe it'd be safe. That chance was likely. I gathered a fresh set of clothes and a nice towel I stole from the warden's cabin. It was empty outside because B, C, and A tents were punished with another hole to dig because they caused a big fight in the Mess Hall. E-tent was playing poker in the Wreck Room. D-tent was there too, so it was safe.

I climbed inside and stripped quickly. The water was freezing as it ran down my bare back. I shuddered with fear. Any minute someone could step out. It was more than risky. I ran my hands through my hair and washed. It was quick considering our instant timer. That's when the Wreck room door opened. I shut the water off and ducked down, but it was too late.

"Squid...It's her..." Armpit whispered loud enough to hear. The tent flap opened too. Soft footsteps made their way to the stalls, and I almost cried in fear. Not only would they see me as a girl, but as a naked girl. They came closer, and a tear streaked down my cheeks. Suddenly, there was a cry out. It was a voice I'd heard before. It was...Zero.

"Squid! There is a yellow-spotted lizard giving birth on your bed!" He screamed. I couldn't tell you how happy I was when he yelled that. Every footstep ran to the tent and secluded me. Perfect! I reached a hand out and snatched my towel. Their attention spans would not last long. I wrapped it around myself and stood up. Stanley pulled me out of there, and we ran behind the tent.

"Thank you so much, Stanley." I said and hugged him. When I pulled away, he was blushing deeply.

"What?" He pointed down at me. I noticed I was only in a towel, and it kinda was loose. I tightened it up and smiled. Boys rushed out of the tent and grumbled.

"She's gone! Thanks a lot Zero!" I thanked the boy mentally. I glanced and watched the boys stride off to the Wreck Room again. Stanley and Zero saved my tail. They saved me from embarrassment, jail, and anger from lying. I loved them. As soon as the the rest of them were gone, I wrapped Zero and Stanley in a huge bear-hug. "I love you guys!" I squealed happily.

"You rock!" They were laughing when I let them go.

"Now, get out. I gotta change." They ran back to the Wreck room and I made sure that would never happen again.


	11. Forgetting a Lifetime

With a lot of power, I scooped out my first shovelful of dried dirt. It crumbled like sand when I threw it into my new-starting pile. The tip scrapped the ground because I was so weak. It had only been 2 weeks. My hands were beginning to callus. But, my muscles still ached in every dimension. I couldn't relax in that steaming sun. I would've wanted that in winter back at home but this heat? Never. The calloused, fiery sun bared down with absolutely no mercy. I wiped a bead of sweat away and continued.

"What day is it?" Armpit asked, heaving.

"Friday," ZigZag replied. Oddly enough, ZigZag always knew the time and day of the week. Every guy groaned. Friday was the day Mom dragged us into a stupid sharing circle. I had no idea why he did that. Mom could've just left us alone to stay depressed and go one with our lives. But, sadly, no. He _had_ to get involved. I lugged myself out of my huge hole. I was still the slowest digger.

Stanley and Zero had gone back to the camp while I was out there all alone in the warm sun. I walked back slowly. Then, a tear rolled down my cheek. I was crying and not realizing it. I was scared. I also regretted disguising myself as a boy. When the tent, whatever their letter was, found out, they'd hate me. I wouldn't be accepted anymore.

Stanley had said, "Getting a nickname is practically receiving acceptance from others." I didn't want that to go away. I didn't want...Big dude...wait what was it? I glanced down at my arm. _Little man_? Who in the world wants to be called _that_? Anyway, I didn't want Little Man to go away. The tears kept streaking down my cheeks. Once that hat was gone, my bricks would fall. I would be exposed once again. That could never happen. They had to know me as Simon or Little Man or whatever they wished, just not _Scarlet Angel Weathers_.

The circle consisted of D-Tent and Mom. He was already beginning the lecture when I walked in. My bones ached, and my fingers bled.

"Slow digger, huh, Simon?" I was about to nod when X-Ray shot Mom a glare.

"Yo, that ain't Simon. That's Lil Man." I almost scoffed at his words. He had to bring up my nickname. I grimaced and sat in an empty chair next to Squid.

"Sorry, _Lil Man_." Mom said with so much disgust. I brushed it away, and he continued his talk.

"So, Lil Man, since you came, how about you tell us how you got here." I swallowed hard.

"I-I robbed a couple houses and hijacked a car." That was all I came up with. Squid slapped on a confused look. "You told us you murdered a chick." _What? I never said that!_ I shook my head.

"No, I didn't. I'm not stupid." ZigZag glared at me.

"Maybe you are if you can't remember a simple thing like that." He called me stupid. Yes, I needed to be stronger. Crying over people, especially boys, was not my thing. I didn't even cry at funerals. A guy like Zig was not going to change that.

"Whatever, man." It was my memory acting up. I couldn't tell what I said or did. I wasn't even sure how I actually got in. I didn't write that crap down. Or...did I? My mind pulsed rapidly at the anger and frustration running through my head. I was so alone.

I'd forget my left and rights, letters and numbers. I once forgot how to subtract and spell on my final testing days in 3rd grade. It was so embarrassing. Mom held me back a month in school to get me caught up with all the things I forgot. Most of them were important. At that time, I didn't find the loophole to my memory loss. Like it would've mattered anyway. My frustration came out as pain and a throbbing sensation.

"Crap," I muttered and Mom glared.

I just wanted them away from me. They made it worse. I squeezed my eyes together and made a face of pain. My head hurt so much. "Can I be excused, please?" I whimpered, trying not to sound girly. Mom nodded, and I burst from the room. Jesus, it hurt. I grimaced and stumbled into tent. I needed sleep. Some kind of escape from reality. I sat on the bed and cried. The weak tears rolled down my cheeks and into the crevices of my neck. Make it go away. The tent flap opened, and I furiously wiped my evidence of sadness away. Though it was only Zigzag.

"What d'you want?" I spat angrily.

"Calm down, Lil Man." My muscles weakened along with my mood.

"What's wrong with you? You act like I do." Yeah, Sherlock, because we're both insane. Why else would I run away like a madman?! I suddenly had the urge to tell him everything. It was the same urge I received everyday, but stronger. No. NO. There was no way a few tears were ruining my entire life. I ignored his words and attempts to ask what was wrong.

"I don't want to talk about it, Zig. Just beat it." He stared at me for a moment and left the tent. I continued to cry and soon drifted away like I always wanted to.


	12. Hats, Tears, and a Clean Arm

**Heyo Mayo! This chapter will be a short one because we've reached the ending of part 1. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry about the short chapter. Thank you and enjoy!**

**~M&M**

* * *

><p>My eyes fluttered open. My limp body lied on some weird cot, and I wanted to go home. There was a tent surrounding me with other cots. They were occupied by many boys, dirty and snoring. What? Why am I with these freaks? I asked myself. Oh, memory. I smiled and glanced at my arm.<p>

No. No. No. No. No. No!

I was *this close* to screaming. My arm was blank. None. Clean. No writing. Zip.

**NOTHING**.

I couldn't remember anything. I didn't know anything about anything. My mind was as fresh as my arm. My marks were there last night. I swear, nothing had left my arm clean. I began hyperventilating at a fast pace. I scrambled for my book in the box.

No. No. NO. Not possible. It was gone. It was stolen. Someone knew about my memory loss, came in the middle of the night, cleaned my arm, and stole my book. They wanted me vulnerable. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I touched every part of my body trying to find that loophole. But, going too quickly scrambled the flashbacks up into an order I couldn't organize.

The fearful tears came a couple seconds later. I didn't know where I was or why. Things were falling apart like cookie crumbs. There was no use in trying anything else. I was doomed—literally doomed. They began to wake up. But, I just sat in a miserable little clump on the floor with dried tears caking my face.

"Lil man," one began, "what's wrong?" I stared forward, not paying any attention.

"Hey, Lil man, what happened yesterday?" Hell, I don't know. I can't even remember my own name. After a couple minutes of silence, they began to crowd around me.

"Lil man?" One guy shook me, but I didn't react. It was over. My memories had run away like a beloved pet, and there was no receiving them back.

"What's wrong with _him_?" _Him_? Hello, I'm a _girl_. I think. I reached for my hat to take it off. Why would they think I'm a boy?


	13. Please Forgive My Sins

**I'm so excited that we've entered part 2! It's so good. Thank you for reading and enjoy**!

**~M&M**

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><p><em><strong>Part 2–Please Forgive my Sins<strong>_

_**{My heart knows me better than I know myself~KT Tunstall}**_

I replayed my favorite song over in my head again. It was captivating. The lyrics slipped off my lips like butter. It made things easier. I still hid. There was no electronics allowed for the campers, so I sang inside my head and tried not to boast about my amazing mental singing. That was pretty cool. I shoveled again and hummed softly. The bearing heat decided to blast maximum that day. It made the others guys lazy and sweaty. Gross. I was at the far end, grunting about the dirt in my shoes. It was uncomfortable. But, hell, was Camp Green Lake comfortable? Yeah, as much as a sword bed. I dropped another load of dirt.

"Zig, what time is it?" I asked. He didn't look up, just shook out his wild hair. Dust sprayed everywhere and I laughed.

"Like 2:15," Somehow, Zigzag always knew what time it was. No one asked why. It was just that way. X-Ray always refused to wipe his glasses off. No one asked why. It was just that way. I never took my hat off in public. No one asked why. It was just that way.

Soon, a word slipped out of my mouth from the song. I mentally cursed. I carried on without another sound. The water truck pulled up a moment later. D-tent filed in a line and got lunch or whatever. I sat at my hole, and Stanley joined me.

"What happened this morning? You almost took off your hat." I opened my mouth to speak but shut it fast. Then, I'd just have to explain my memory loss to him.

"Don't worry, okay? I wasn't going to take it off. I just had to itch my head. It wasn't like that." I lied. He sat next to me.

"Don't do that again. Why were you unresponsive to everyone?" He asked, dryly.

"I didn't feel like talking."

"Or moving? You looked like Zigzag when he watches Tv. What's wrong?" I squeezed my eyes shut.

"I felt crazy. I don't know. Maybe it was just last night that messed me up." He stared at me.

"So what the guys said—that put you in solitude?" I nodded, trying not to make it obvious that I lied. But, he could already tell.

"Whatever, Scarl–Simon." Stanley left, and I sat wondering how I got in that mess.

**Short? I know. Sorry. I'm thinking of working on a new fanfic concerning Stephen King's The Mist. Thx and bye!**


	14. When the Hat Falls Off

**Yo. We've finally reached the climax...sort of. This is the most dramatic chapter I've ever written in any book. Wow. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**~M&M**

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><p>I approached the Wreck Room carefully. I wasn't really sure what to expect. But, I needed to find out who erased my marks and stole my book. I stepped inside and tightened my hat a little more. Everyone in D-tent but Zig and Stanley were playing pool. Squid nodded in my direction when his eyes met mine. I nodded back and joined with Zig. Flashes of I Love Lucy was on the tv and Zigzag stared intently.<p>

"What's up, bro?" I began. He pressed a finger to my lips to signal to be quiet. I blushed and peeled his finger away.

"Sorry," His oddly attractive blue eyes lit up at the pictures as if he were in the scene. But, no one else could see it but us. I smiled and tried to hide a blush. Guys don't do girly blushes. Remember that. I turned around and saw Stanley walk in. He smiled at me and came closer. That's when the laughter erupted. It came from the back side of the room. I glanced over and saw Lump and a couple of his buddies laughing at something. Stupid jerks. I stood up and walked over to Stanley. He opened his mouth to speak but was–

"Mental hospital? What is this crap?" My neck snapped around and saw it. There it was in his lap being read by everyone. The book. I erupted in fury. HE HAD MY BOOK! I stormed over to Lump without a second thought.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed, glaring at his snotty face.

"You b****, give me my book back!" I yelled. I regretted that right after it passed my lips. But I was so mad that my face was red. My first encounter with that guy wasn't pretty. Lump stood and towered over me. Everything went silent. There wasn't a breath taken in the room, and I was pretty sure I was shaking. "You're calling me a b****, girlie?" Girlie? No. NO.

Lump slammed the book into my chest which knocked every bit of air out of me. The giant ripped off my hat and roughly pushed me to the ground. NO! My hair flung back, my head slammed onto the floorboards, and every guy stood up.

"You freaking liar!" He screamed, kicking me repeatedly. No. No. I felt numb and exposed everywhere. They knew, and I was a liar. I was every profanity Lump shouted out.

"You can't even remember your own name, b****. You should stay back at your stupid asylum!" Tears began to stream down my face in a waterfall. I was suddenly yanked up. Every inch of my body hurt from Lump's beating. Blood ran from my lip and cuts were painted everywhere on me along with black bruises. It was all drenched in tears and blood. I wasn't sure who was holding me away from Lump, but I didn't expect D-tent to be the ones. They despised me. I would guess that well.

"Leave...her alone, Lump!" The guy holding me yelled. It was Zigzag. He was helping me—not tossing me back into the fire. I cried more and refused to open my eyes. I became lifeless everywhere. I couldn't feel anything. I just heard Lump's curses and a large fight going on that included many people. I cracked my eyes open and saw Lump being pummeled by Zig. Wait, who was I with?

"C'mon." I was picked up, wedding style and taken out of the Wreck Room. It was Squid. I tried to apologize, but it only came out as a jumble of unintelligible words.

"It's okay...everything is going to be okay." A tent I never saw before came into my view. I closed my eyes and cried more. Then, I was out.

"Hey, wake up. Wake up, girl." A pair of fingers snapped in front of my eyes. I opened them and blinked a little. My body was sore and restless even, though I'd been unconscious. A man (counselor, I guessed) stood over me bandaging the last of my cuts. I couldn't remember where I was. My stupid book. That was the problem. It was all my fault. I ruined my friendship with G-no no, D-tent all because of my gender. Tears stroked my face. I was dehydrated and tired. I wanted to go home.

"Where am I?" I asked, groggily.

"Camp Green Lake Infirmary." Oh yeah, Camp Green Lake. At the thought of Green Lake, I remembered everything. I remembered Zigzag's yelling and Squid's calm voice. I remembered Lump's expression and hatred for me spilling out. I remembered the silence. That was the one thing I couldn't forget. The motionless shock that fell upon every D-tenter knowing I was a liar. I cried more.

"C'mon, get up. Go back to your tent." He helped me back onto my feet. I furiously wiped my tears away. How am I going to face them? I asked myself. How would I face the people who I just betrayed the trust of. I walked out and noticed the outside was empty. There were no boys walking around. No bus to pick me up and no Warden screaming at me. Just silent tents and the dusty air. I sadly limped to the tent. It too was quiet. You've done it, Scarlet. You've done it now.

I sucked up my sadness and walked inside. Every eye was on me. All of them. Every guy in D-tent had an expressionless look. Zigzag stood up with the most serious face shot at me. My eyes brimmed with another load of tears. He walked up, towering over me. Then, the unexpected happened. Zigzag hugged me so tightly it almost hurt. He dug his fingers in my curly red hair and let out a shaky sigh. He had been scared. Almost as scared as I had been.

I was motionless, afraid of what to do. The rest of the guys crowded around, all hugging me and staying silent. There was nothing I could say that would make the situation better, but then again, there wasn't anything they could say either.


	15. I Love Lucy

**So, I'm 3/4 of the any finished and I need help. I have major writers block and don't know what to do next. If you have any ideas on an ending or a scene to come next, comment or PM me! Please!**

**~M&M**

* * *

><p>We didn't speak for the rest of the time. We just slept and thought. The first person to speak was Zigzag. That was in the middle of the night when we were the only ones awake. It was freezing outside. He had me held against him. With no argument against my silent protests, Zig warmed me very quickly. It was weird though. I didn't have to wear that stupid hat anymore. It was already obvious across all of Camp Green Lake that I was a girl. There was nothing to fight for anymore.<p>

"Did you watch that show with me?" He asked, softly.

"Yeah, I Love Lucy? Yes. I like that show." I rambled.

"I like that show too." I glanced at him. It was silent for a moment.

"Are you just ignoring it?" I asked.

He stared down at me and said, "You ignored it for a while."

I swallowed hard. The cold air blew beneath both of us. It wasn't fair that he got the upper hand.

"So, I guess you're Felicity, huh?" He asked.

"No," I replied with a scratchy voice.

"How about Daphne? Is she real, or is that you?" He asked with a slight essence of anger in his voice.

"No,"

"Then, who the hell are you?" A tear rolled down my cheek.

"Scarlet...Angel...Weathers." He was silent, then he ran his fingers through my hair.

"You were the girl in the picture?"

"Yeah, everything about that was true." His hand left my hair.

"You aren't like many people I know," I couldn't even smile at that.

"What? People who hide their gender, so they don't go to a real jail?" I blurted out, trying to hold back my tears.

"No, ones who are as open and sure of yourself as you are." Open?

"How am I open? I just h-"

"You told me all the other stuff, didn't you?" I did. I told him that I was single, 16, and crazy. I sat in surprised silence.

"I'm sorry I lied to you and everyone. I needed to save my skin." He smirked.

"I'm sorry I called you stupid because of you forgetting." He wiped away my tears and hugged me again. I held onto his hand for dear life. I didn't want to loose him to a stupid mistake. He was too important already. He was one of my crazies.

"So, how'd you really get in? I mean, I have to learn this stuff all over again." I smiled.

"I attacked one of my mental inmates named like Elle or no, Hanna...no it-it was..." I pressed a hand to my head and squeezed my eyes closed. Crap.

"Um, oh yeah, René. She threatened my family." I told him.

"Fierce, I see." I smiled.

"I do have to tell you something, though." He pulled away from me.

"What is it?" I took in a shaky breath.

"I don't just have schizophrenia. I have short-term memory loss. That's why I forget everyone's names and stuff." His face dropped.

"That means you might forget..." He didn't have to say anything else. I pulled him back closer to me.

"Shut up. I don't want to think about that. I don't want to forget my friends. Please don't talk like that." He was quiet, holding me as well.

"How do you...how do you remember?" He asked.

"I usually write things on my arm." I pulled my sleeve down to expose cuts from self-harm I performed in the hospital and a blank arm underneath.

"But, Lump cleaned them off one night and stole my back-up book where I wrote my secrets and other stuff to remember." I explained.

"Sometimes, though, I have a loophole." Zigzag's eyes lit up.

"Like?"

"Whenever I'm touched somewhere, l can touch that place later and remember everything that happened there if I want. It's so cool." He smiled.

"How will you remember me?" I held out my hand.

"You could do hand, I mean, a lot of people already have. But, I could still find you." Zig suddenly frowned. "That's not original." He reached out a hand and rested it on my neck. It was cold and made my hairs stand on end. I laid my own hand on top of his.

"We have a mental bond now; please don't break it, Scarlet." I stared into his frightening eyes. They were hollow except for me staring back. I was in him. I was a part of Zigzag now.


	16. Skeeter and the Tragedy That Follows

**In this chapter I'd like to give a shoutout to one of my favorite books, The Help. The nickname given to Scarlet is based off of Skeeter from holes, a red head who couldn't keep a boyfriend for the life of her. Enjoy and review!**

**~M&M**

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><p>"Get up!" Screamed the counselor. I smiled and sat up. It actually wasn't that bad of a morning. That was when it struck me. Right next to me was a fast-asleep Zigzag. I slept with him. Immediately, I leaped off so no one saw. I changed into a fresh jumpsuit chef ore anyone saw and went outside. It was quiet and scary. They all watched me. After I got my shovel, I was shoved to the ground and a group of snickers came. It was Lump smirking.<p>

"Oh, sorry, sweetheart. I don't wait behind b****es." Don't cry. No crying. I stood back up and dusted myself off like I was supposed to. Thankfully D-tent didn't see. I didn't want or need a Prince Charming to save my butt. Not anymore. I pulled my thoughts together and grabbed breakfast. Zigzag as behind me in a heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Why did I wake up in your cot?" He slurred with his gorgeous accent. I handed him my innocent look and pried him off me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He laughed and grabbed his breakfast.

"Yeah right," Squid came up and gave me a perky smile.

"Hey, girl."

"I have a name." He crooked his eyebrow.

"Which one should I call you by?" I glared at him.

"Scarlet Angel...call me that." He shook his head.

"Are you kidding? You need a nickname." I shrugged.

"I don't know. You make it up." Then, we went to dig.

I had to stretch my back when the truck came. I hurt practically everywhere.

"Hey, Skeeter." Magnet said as I stretched. A smirk crossed my face.

"Why the name?" I asked. He shrugged.

"It fits you. Skeeter has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?" I chuckled and nodded.

"Guess so." Magnet went around, spreading the word of my new name. I grabbed my snack and sat my hole, dangling my feet and braiding my hair sideways. It fell into a lazy braid with strands falling out. I huffed a sigh. Things actually weren't too bad. I was still pissed with Lump. But, I wasn't shunned for being a girl. I think it was actually okay for a while. Well, it was okay before...that happened. Oh, you'll find out soon enough. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. There weren't many pretty things that happened to me at Green Lake.

"So, Skeeter." I glanced up and saw a guy with puffy hair.

"Who's Skeeter?" I asked. He smiled and sat next to me.

"Oh, yeah. Magnet just gave you that name. Sounds cool, huh?" What the hell? I backed away from him.

"I don't know you. W-where am I?" Stanley's face dropped.

"Skeeter, I'm tired of you playing this stupid game. Why do you keep forgetting me?" I glanced down at my dust caked hands and forgot everything that was going on. I forgot my hole, my arms, and everyone. Why is everyone looking at me? I began to panic. Then, I began to run. There was no telling where.

"Scarlet, wait! Come back!"

"Get away from me!" I screamed. Suddenly, I became latched onto something. A guy with wild hair hauled me back like a doll. He gripped my struggling arms and whispered in my ear.

"Scarlet. Scar, calm down. Calm down. It's alright. You're gonna be alright. Scarlet, stop struggling. Stop." A cold hand pressed against my neck, and I froze. An image of a guardian angel longing to come closer formed in front of me. I was there, barely breathing but wanting to. I wanted to touch the person. I wanted him closer to me. Finally, my vision came back, and I saw Zigzag. Everyone was staring at me.

"I'm...I'm sorry." I said, sighing.

"What the hell was that?" Squid barked. I turned around.

"I...nothing. It was nothing. Get back to your hole, okay?" I snapped.

"Cut the bullcrap." Armpit said.

"Something's up. Zig knows. Don't you, Ziggy?" said X-Ray. X-Ray came closer and glared at him.

"Is there something ya hiding from us, Zig? Something you want to tell us?" Zigzag glanced away from the shorter boy. I was hardly amused. Zigzag was taking orders from a shorter, weaker boy. They acted as if they feared X.

"Nothing." He muttered. X-Ray shoved the boy back. D-tent looked on, wordless.

"What's going on, Zig?" The boy barked.

"Let it go, X." The taller boy said.

"C'mon. Aren't you gonna tell us?" I fumed. I was so ticked at X-Ray. He thought he could rule over everyone like a b****. I walked up, yanked X-Ray around, and punched him. It was the first time I ever hit anyone like that. He stumbled back with a shocked look.

"Stop being a freakin b****, X-Ray."

He stared at me, unable to say anything. I just picked my shovel back up and returned to the place I belonged—in a hole.


	17. Squids and Ink on Arms

**Hello! Thank you for everything you've written in the comments. It means a lot to have fans for this story. The chapter after this will be all about 4 things that played crucial parts in Scarlet's life. Kinda dark. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.**

**~M&M**

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><p>"You freakin hit X-Ray. You're lucky you didn't die on the spot." Zigzag complained as we walked back.<p>

"Are you kidding me? The kid is a pipsqueak. You shouldn't have to take sh*t from him." I said. He stared at me.

"You're putting yourself in a bad place, Skeeter."

"I'm serious, Zigzag. I know you could beat that boy into next week." He sighed.

"Do you know why no one tries to take over X-Ray? Because there's a thing called loyalty. It's a pain sometimes. But, loyalty keeps you trusted and keeps you protected by other people. If I beat up X-Ray, I wouldn't be really apart of D-Tent. Yeah, I'd still be living there...but, I wouldn't be apart of it."

I stared at him as if he'd gone totally insane.

"Do you get what I'm saying?" He asked. I nodded and picked my shovel back up.

"Yeah. If you're loyal to X-Ray, don't you think he should be loyal to you guys? Things should be mutual."

"That's where the painful part comes in. Do you remember when Lump revealed your secret and beat you up? Do you remember that, Skeeter?" He asked, bumping my shoulder.

"Yeah."

"Do you remember when we came in and helped you? All of us did." He asked.

"I-I think so." I replied.

"That was loyalty. Even though you lied to us all, we remained loyal. That might've saved your life." Finally, I got it. In a way, it was mutual. I hadn't noticed how much D-Tent actually did for me. It was quite a lot.

"Thanks...for reminding me." He put an arm around my shoulder.

"You're welcome." We silently walked back, glimpsing at the camp a couple of times. Zig's arm remained around my shoulder. It was there until we got back to camp.

I was introduced as Skeeter—kind of like a new person but not really. I didn't talk to anyone. I just spent the day writing the names back and finding a better hiding place for my book. I didn't really know how long I'd been at Green Lake. It was long enough to have a whole cover blown, trust broken, and many holes dug. After that, I joined D-tent in the Mess Hall. Zig ushered me over, and I sat to the right of him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, softly and only to me. I shook my head.

"Nothing."

Zigzag turned back to the group. I wasn't interested in what they were saying. I just stared off into space. After a few seconds, fingers snapped in front of me, and I returned to reality. A boy was standing by me. The mess hall was empty, and night was already setting in. It hadn't just been a few seconds.

"Skeeter? You were totally blank for hours." I glanced back at him with a hollow mind.

"Who's Skeeter?" I asked, bewildered at the strange boy's question.

"Stop it, Skeeter. You did the exact same thing out there. Tell me what's going on, or I'll-"

The boy froze when his eyes loomed over my rolled up sleeves. I forgot to roll the sleeves back down when I finished writing.

"What?" I glanced down at my arm and quickly yanked it back down.

"What was that?" He asked.

I shook my head. That moment of embarrassment was what I really wanted to forget.

"What was that, Scarlet?" He asked with a dark, serious tone. The boy pulled my sleeve up and took a long look at my writing.

"Why...why do you have our names all on your arm?" Before I knew what was going on, tears were filling up my eyes. My goal to never cry was most certainly failing.

"Please. Please don't tell anyone." I begged.

"Skeeter, do you have...memory loss?" The tears fell at the word "loss". The boy came a bit closer, still staring at my words. I could barely breathe through my sobs.

"You have to tell me who you are. I-I can't tell left from right or up from down anymore." I whispered since that as the only way I could talk.

"Squid. I'm Squid." I cried into his shoulder, knowing he probably hated it, but I didn't. Squid had helped me from Lump. He would help me through the memory loss as well. Squid's arms wrapped around me. We didn't speak for a long time. The tears dried up not much longer, and I felt a bit more self-confident. I pulled away and stumbled away from him. He didn't follow—just watched.

"Skeeter, are you okay?" He asked. I wiped the remaining tears away.

"Yeah. I just need a little time alone. Alright?" Squid hesitated but nodded and walked out. I took in a shaky breath and closed my eyes.

"Why does everyone around me get to be normal?" I asked to no one in particular. I sat on a nearby table and sulked. Even René was the least bit sane. Well, she was more sane than me. I mean, I killed the girl for threatening my family (and almost killing me). If that wasn't the act of a maniac, you tell me what is. I contemplated over my situation for a couple minutes, which actually happened to be an hour, and returned to the silent and sleeping tent. I slipped in my cot and curled into a miserable little ball—like before only more dead inside.


	18. Charcoal

**Hey guys. I've started a new account on a site called . I'll be putting up my fiction on there. You can also find me on . The week around Aug 7 I probably won't be posting for birthday reasons. Thanks for your support. Enjoy!**

**~M&M**

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><p>I dreamed about 4 things; I dreamed about a road map from 1998, an old Madlibz book, a cigarette, and my mother's hairbrush. 4 things—not related at all. Yet, I still woke up in the black of night screaming. Maybe I should tell you exactly why those 4 things scared me near to death. The cigarette was the first sign that I was crazy. It was my 8th birthday, and my dad and I were walking towards a Target, because we needed a few groceries. It was before I was diagnosed. A Marlboro cigarette hung out of his lip. He glanced down at his little girl and smiled. I smiled back and pushed one of those ridiculous mini carts for the children. Then, my eyes fell over onto the little flame on the smoke. A small burst of energy went through me when the red glow appeared. I suddenly wanted to...Quickly, I plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and pressed the fiery end to my skin. Then, I laughed at the pain and pressed harder. Despite the pain, I loved the fire. I wanted the fire so badly—more than anything I ever wanted in my life. Hell, I needed a birthday present. That was my first sign of craziness.<p>

When I arrived at the mental hospital 4 years later, I was more scared than I ever had been. I was surrounded by murderers and the people you see in horror movies. I didn't think I was that. But, I was. My first friend was a girl named René Washington. She had chocolate brown curls that cut right at her jawline. Her eyes were so blue, nearly white. Her skin was the color of bleached sand and had the texture of it too. René was diagnosed with some personality disorder and schizophrenia. But, she sure was a sweet girl. René thought it was cool I put a cigarette to my skin. She even told me how she strangled her 7-year old brother and pushed him off her treehouse because he cheated with her on a game of cards and insulted her.

We became best friends for a while. René was allowed to bring one thing from home, because she was cut off a lot from her family. She was always in the room down the hall where they scanned your mind or whatever. I was in there 2 times. Anyway, René brought a Madlibz book for us to play with. The front cover was painted with dried, crusty blood. She never told me why. And all we played was the first one. We only played the first one for weeks. René said the other pages were blacked out with chalk and charcoal, so we couldn't play with them. That didn't bother me. Then, one day I grew very tired of the same thing. I flipped to the other pages and saw they were not covered in charcoal. No, they were covered in my name written with dried blood. René became furious, hit me, and threatened me.

During my time in between our friendship, I was visited by one person. He was my cousin, Rooney. He was 22 years old and 6 feet tall. He had curly black hair and light brown eyes too. Rooney liked me a lot though he had never seen me before. His first time ever seeing me was when I was at the hospital. He had two things in hand when he entered my room. I was sitting on my bed, staring at my hands and fingers. I was 14 years old. Rooney sat on the bed and smiled like he wasn't sitting next to an insane murderer-to-be.

"Hi, Scarlet." He said, still looking at me. I stared at him and smiled too.

"I know you." I whispered. His eyebrows went up.

"Really?"

"You're my dad." I said. Rooney's smile fell.

"No, Scarlet. I'm your cousin, Rooney. You've never seen me before." I gave him a blank look.

"What?"

"Look, I've brought something for you." I stared down at the two things in his hand—a pair of scissors and a road map. I took the gifts my hands and traced the roads of the map.

"Come on, Scarlet. I know you want to use it." He ushered to the scissors and smiled again. I returned the smile and nodded. Then, I brought the blade to my skin for the first time and watched as the red spilled down. He set the scissors away and pointed to the map.

"Do you know why I brought this to you?" He asked. I shook my head, still watching the blood.

"I brought this as a cheesy gesture. I knew you'd like it. I want you to find the person you belong with. This map will guide you to that person." I looked over at the road map and saw it was to Manhattan. I'd never been anywhere near Manhattan before in my life.

"Thank you, Rooney." I said, painting the blood onto the map, mindlessly. He smiled, kissed my cheek, and left. I never saw Rooney again. But, I found out he died from drugs and alcohol 6 months later. I didn't even cry.

The day after I was diagnosed, I was beaten for no reason. I was dragged out of my room where I sobbed. My mother dragged me out, screaming I was a terrible daughter. I didn't exactly know what I did wrong. Maybe it was because I was crazy. Mother didn't want a crazy daughter. So, she dragged me into the cramped bathroom and beat me with a hairbrush. She hit me in my face, my head, my back, and the backs of my legs. It hurt everywhere, and I cried harder. When the hairbrush broke, she threw nail polish bottles and sunscreen cans at my head and sprayed my eyes with hairspray. Then, she kicked me a lot and tried to drown me in the sink. I never really knew why I was a bad daughter.


	19. Bonfire Hearts

**I hope you guys didn't mind my absence. I wanted to come back as soon as possible. I have a funny story to tell. So, for this chapter, I pulled up my Pages app to copy and paste the document down. I skimmed it and noticed this is one of many climaxes. I couldn't stop laughing because I know every single one of you are going to hate me after this...hehehehe...good luck. Enjoy guys!**

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><p><strong>(For getting in the mood, listen to <strong>**_Bonfire Hearts _****by James Blunt. It really sets the mood. ;D)**

I did wake up screaming. Although, sadly enough, I remembered everything. I could feel the hairbrush stinging my skin and the constant clashing of nail polish bottles against my head. I smelled the blood on René though she was dead. And I still felt the fresh red blood running down my arm. I screamed and kicked the blanket away. I scratched down my arm to get rid of the faded scar and I pressed my fingers to the patch of skin on my arm where hair would never grow—the burned part. I remembered everything. Half of D-tent woke up and Zigzag rushed to my aid.

"Skeet-"

"Get away from me!" I screamed, kicking him away. I pressed harder onto the spot like I had with the cigarette. I pressed until the tobacco would've crumbled between my fingers. I wanted the burn back so badly. I craved it. There was no fire though. I had no lighter. I didn't have any scissors. I didn't have the road map, or the MadLibz, or René. I had only dead memories. I scratched harder until scars began showing and blood began flowing.

"Skeeter, stop it!" Cried Zigzag. He yanked my hands away from each other.

"Look at me." He demanded. I was forced to stare into his deadly, serious eyes. Then, he pulled me into a tight hug, holding my head. Finally, I calmed down a bit and remembered it was only nightmares. Rooney and René were dead. Mom wasn't there. I was safe. I didn't cry, because I had no tears left. I only took breaths and thanked God I still could do that. The other boys went back to sleep, but Zigzag refused to leave. We sat on my cot, staring at my ruined arms.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to my first scar from Rooney.

"When I was in the hospital, I met my cousin for the first time. He gave a road map and a pair of scissors. I made my first cut with those scissors. My cousin wanted me to." I explained.

"Did it feel good?" He asked. I sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, it felt amazing. But, the scissors were taken away from me." We sat in short silence again.

"What was that all about, Skeeter? You were having a panic attack." I told Zigzag all four stories and how I had nightmares about them all. Afterwards, he stared at me for a long time, trying to sum me up.

"You really had a sh***y life, huh?" I chuckled softly and shrugged.

"That's what you get for being me. I was always surrounded by crazy people. I just never knew it." He cracked the smallest of smiles.

"I was like that too. Still am. I think it's kinda great I met you. For once in my life, there's someone who understands everything. I'm not alone anymore."

Zigzag took my hand and ran his fingertips across mine. They were soft and light and almost tickled. But, I loved it. Suddenly, I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel misunderstood or forgotten or like Helen Keller. I didn't have to be locked up in a box. There was someone who understood the language I was speaking. A smile played on my lips as I stared back up at him.

Then, Zigzag leaned in a little closer and tilted my chin up. He whispered a simple "I'm sorry" and kissed me. I felt the same sensation I did with the cigarette—pure pleasure. My stomach rose to my throat, and I froze. He took over at my weak moment and rested a hand on my cheek. I didn't know exactly what the hell was going on or why he kissed me. But, I loved it, and he proceeded. Finally, he pulled away, and I took short, quick breaths. I turned away from him and tried to breathe correctly.

He kissed me. On one half, I was overjoyed. On the other, I wanted to cry. Zigzag just destroyed the barrier I had around me. I worked for building it so many years. Maybe I was only building it so it could be knocked down. I didn't know.

"Scarlet, are you okay?" I kept away from him, totally abandoning him. It was wrong to leave him on a cliff like that, but I was so confused. I wanted to forget yet remember. I was more frustrated than I had ever been before.

"Scarlet-"

"Zigzag, can you just leave me alone right now? Please." A sick silence settled in. The boy left my side and went back to his bed with a disappointing nod. I tried to sleep, but my heart was dying and everything else was too. Please, forget this, I thought. But, I knew that wouldn't happen. It was those fingertips. Those d*** fingertips.


	20. Remember How I Broke Your Heart

**I lied last time. This chapter isn't the climax. The next one is. Enjoy!**

**~M&M**

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><p>Squid stared at me so many times the next day—even when I woke up, he was staring at me. Zigzag never said a word the whole day. D-tent asked why many times and tried to get him snapped out of his daze. I knew why though. I knew why Zigzag was mute like Zero. Instead of his cocky smirks, there were deadly silences. I watched Zigzag. Every time he sighed I wanted to apologize for leaving him so. But, he knew what he did to ruin everything. That was why he said "I'm sorry." Let me just say, this isn't the worst part of my story. No, the worst part comes in a couple days. After digging, I sat with Stanley and Zero in the tent. I earned up enough courage to tell them. I told them absolutely everything. I even said why I came to Green Lake in the first place. They both had an open mind at the end of it.<p>

"I'm so sorr-"

"Save it, Stanley. I know. I have a bigger problem." I interrupted.

"What happened?" He asked. I swayed from side to side.

"Last night...Zig kissed me." Stanley threw his hands up.

"That's why he won't talk to anyone, isn't it? Because you blew him off."

"I didn't blow him off! I just...needed time to myself. I've had this barrier around me for years, Yelnats. It kept out pain, but it also kept out love. He...he broke it." I snapped. Stanley sighed and glanced at Zero.

"Do you love him?" Zero asked, softly. That question surprised me. I hadn't even registered that. I looked at Zero, dumbfounded.

"I...I don't know." I replied, dropping my eyes. I didn't think I loved Zig. He was a friend as far as I knew. But, if Zigzag kissed me, there was a good chance that he did love, or at least like, me. I shook the ridiculous thought away. No. He didn't love a lunatic. It was just a mistake. That was all. I grabbed a towel, a jumpsuit, and left for the Warden's shower. When the cold water ran down my skin, I smiled. Even though I had the option of showering in warm water, I chose cold. It made me feel better and washed my thoughts away. Though, water never washed my memories away unfortunately.

I stood under the water for as long as I could. All I did was stare at the cigarette mark and pressed harder. Afterwards, came the worst part of all. I stood outside of the Warden's cabin, clean and cold. It was a casual morning. Nothing was out of the ordinary except for one thing. I sat on the railing, not noticing the thing crawling up my arm. I stared out at the other tents. Squid, X-Ray, and Magnet were going inside the Wreck room, imitating Mom. I rolled my eyes. I wiped a bead of sweat already forming on my forehead.

All you had to do was sit to get hot in Camp Green Lake. Then, my eyes found Zigzag's. His head was ducked. He was shaking out his dusty blond hair. It sprinkled down the ground like snowflakes. He raised his head and spotted me. His eyes were filled with sadness and anger. But, then turned into worry and fright.

"Skeeter!" He screamed. He pointed at me, and I looked around me. As soon as the words escaped his lips, a stinging sensation rained through my neck. It burned like fire—like a particular cigarette. I screamed and pushed off whatever had attached itself to my neck. A yellow-spotted lizard was flung to the ground by none other than me. My wide eyes stared in disbelief.

It was just bitten by a yellow-spotted lizard. I screamed again when the pain began to spread across my neck. Zigzag ran up turned me around. A crowd was beginning to form. My breathing was becoming panting. Zig pulled me away while I clung to my bite helplessly. He rushed me into Mr. Sir's office.

"Hold on, Skeeter. Everything's gonna be alright..."

**_Stop. _**

I blinked and watched Zig shake out his dusty blonde hair. I stood up, unsure of what happened. That wasn't right. Do you think the climax is gonna happen now? Oh no. I walked around myself, just to make sure the other reality wasn't correct. I was fine. I blinked again and saw Zig's eyes meet mine. He didn't approach me or anything. He didn't nod or mouth anything. The boy carried on his way, leaving me in the dust. Literally. That was the first hallucination I had during my stay at Green Lake. I hung out with Squid and Magnet the rest of the afternoon. The entire table ate silently just because Zig was silent. It was very awkward at times.

When night time rolled around, I had no trouble falling asleep. I was exhausted for some odd reason. The thin blanket was deep in every crevice of my body. It was cold. Somehow, even the blanket made it colder. I guess I shouldn't complain. I didn't get cold in the daytime. I fell asleep quickly. When I woke up, I was blank for a moment. But, I became normal at a glance at my arm. I wish I didn't have to do this, I thought. I didn't want to have to wake up not knowing my name. D-tent began crawling out of bed, so I slipped out into the dark morning.

Campers were rubbing their eyes, still partially asleep. I yawned and thought of what would happen after my sentence. Most likely, I'd return to the mental hospital and live out my days until I was 19. Or maybe I'd get lucky. Maybe I'd get pitied and sent back home. Honestly, the mental hospital sounded better than home. At home, I'd see Mother. She was worse than anything Camp Green Lake could dish out. She was the warden but much much worse. If she was the warden, all hell would break loose. Good thing she wasn't. I felt the back of my head, remembering how she used to yank my hair for pure joy. If Hitler was a woman, it was her. An arm went around my neck, hanging off like a towel. Stanley's face was long and spacey. He was definitely tired.

"Hey," I remarked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Hey, Skeeter," I smiled tiredly. Squid came by my other side and put an arm around my shoulders too. I giggled and glanced at each of them.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked to no one in particular.

"I don't know. Maybe if Zig gets jealous, he'll talk. I want my friend back. Did you...do anything to him?" Stanley handed me a guilty look. I didn't want to tell Squid about the kiss. But, Squid was Zigzag's best friend. I shook my head. Squid didn't deserve to be caught up in that mess. It was best for him to stay out of it.

"Well, alright. He can't stay silent forever." No, he couldn't stay silent forever. But, for a week? Yes. Squid began hanging around Zig more, trying to get him to say anything. But, when our next meeting with Mom strolled around, he was cornered. Zig had to talk. There was just no way around it for him. We met in the same place we usually did. Chairs were placed to form a great, big, happy circle. He was slouched against one when me and Zero walked in. Zero gave me a look that seemed to say "you know what to do." Zigzag glared softly at me. I ignored his behavior and sat in the farthest possible seat away from him. When all of the tent became settled, Mom joined to group and looked around.

"Now, I know this group in particular have been having some communication problems. There's been bad blood going around, hasn't there?" The room remained silent.

"Today, I'd like to talk about communicating to one another instead of holding your feelings in. It's helpful that we all learn communication so it doesn't effect our work ethic. Stanley, how about you start. Tell us about something that's been bothering you that you usually didn't want to talk about." Stanley cocked his head.

"If it's something I didn't want to talk about, then I probably shouldn't say it." Mom glared at Stanley.

"Don't make this hard, Yelnats." Mom smiled like nothing was wrong. Stanley shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess the food's pretty bad." He said. Mom nodded.

"I understand. How do you think you could change that?" Stanley gave Mom a funny look.

"What?" Mom sighed.

"Never mind, Stanley. How about you, Ricky? I've seen most of the tension coming from your aura." Everyone leaned in a bit more. No one wanted to miss this. I played things cool. Maybe if I acted uncaring, he'd make something up. But, Zig's eyes went directly to mine, teasing me. He couldn't tell about the kiss. If he did, I'd be made a laughing stock. Instead, Zig looked back at Mom.

"Oh, I've just had girl problems." Great. Mom's eyebrows raised in false surprise.

"Really? Someone from home?" Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Zig smirked and glanced back at me. My eyes flickered away, and my fingers went to picking at my nails.

"Not really. She's a stubborn, ignorant, little b****."

"Ricky! We do not use that language here." Zig's eyes rolled. Mom didn't find the irony that he missed Zigzag referring to me. I was fuming. He couldn't call me names and get away with it.

"Why is she so bad?" Mom asked, barely scrapping snooping in his business. The boy's eyes were glued to me. Instead of looking back at him, I clenched my fists.

"She just hurt me for no reason." That's when I stood up in pure rage.

"That's rich! I didn't hurt you for no god**** reason! You know exactly why I ignored you!" He stood up, towering over me. But, I wasn't afraid. I felt taller than him.

"For two d*** weeks?! You ignore a guy for two weeks?! I didn't even do anything wrong." I glared at him.

"You immature brat! Remember that you were the one who ruined me! You were the one who broke that wall around me! And now you are the one calling me the b****!" He glared at me, angrily.

"I hope you're happy, Zigzag. You just screwed up everything." I kicked my chair away and stormed out to the tent. I can't get through one session fully. Zigzag had no right to treat me that way! He did everything wrong! He was the one who screwed my life up. I wish I never even met him.


	21. Dystopia

**I have literally been anticipating this moment since this book started. This climax, hopefully, will be enjoyable. Don't hate me. I love you. ENJOY!**

**~M&M**

* * *

><p>Here comes the worst part. I made the worst choice I could've ever made. I cleaned my arm the next morning before anyone woke up. I scrubbed so hard. I wanted the name off, my name off, everything off. I was angry and truly ignorant. I made a terrible decision. While out on the lake, I tossed my book into a hole and buried it deep. Finally, I was letting go. After digging the last hole, I walked out of there, crying softly to myself. I made the choice and was not turning back. He hurt me too badly. No one could tell I was any different that afternoon. I sat with Stanley on the mess hall porch. I was closer to him, crying on his shoulder. I lied and told him it was because my hands and feet hurt, but that wasn't the reason why. I was finally leaving. If there was anyone I wanted to remember in Camp Green Lake, it would have to be Stanley. He was there for me and didn't care that I was insane or a girl. He liked me because I was me no matter what.<p>

"Are you sure you're okay? Is this because of your fight with Zigzag?" Yes. I shook my head into his shoulder and sucked my feelings up. Jesus, I hate hormones.

"I'm sorry." I told him, hugging my best friend. Then, I kissed his cheek and walked away. This would be my last night. At dinner, I stared at nothing. I touched nothing. Zig's eyes were on me. But, he was talking. He was acting normal. Instead, it was me who was mute. The tables turned. Although we both reeked of anger, I had my eyes down, and he had his eyes on me—the entire day. Stanley gave me confused look.

"Aren't you going to eat?" He asked me.

"I don't need to." I probably sounded crazy, which I always did, but I actually sounded depressed, which I was. Stanley gave me a last look and let me be. Instead of sitting with the other guys, I threw my plate away and went back to the tent. Come on, night. Come faster. Please. While the time ticked by, I sat on my bed, feeling my fingertips and my neck. The image of his lips on mine formed. The feeling was indescribable. When his hand had been on my neck, I shivered. This time, I jumped. Zigzag made me feel weightless. I released a shaky breath. My hands were trembling and my tears were waiting to spill. That would be my last day. The night did come quickly, though. I laid still on my bed, afraid of falling asleep. Sleeping meant losing at this point in my game. But, losing didn't sound that bad. _So, I finally let it go._

...

The cold, dark morning greeted me with a sweet hello. The blanket around was cloaked in sweat. My body was cloaked in sweat. Immediately, I ripped the blanket off and stared around. What the? Where am I? Who am I? Boys. There were boys everywhere, and I couldn't tell what happened to me. The first guy sat up and glanced at me. He yawned and nodded.

"Hey, Skeeter. I wanted to ask why you cried on me yesterday. I know you said it was about your feet, but maybe it was..." The boy looked over at me and his expression changed. Who's Skeeter? What?

"Skeeter, are you ok-"

"Who are you? Where am I?" His face dropped.

"You forgot. Skeeter, listen to me." But, the fear had already crawled up my back. I leaped off the cot and raced out of the tent.

"Zigzag! Guys, get up!" The boy called. I ran out of that town. I ran down a dirt path, afraid and sweaty. I looked behind me and saw two boys racing towards me. One had dark brown hair and the other had blond. I only ran faster. What's going on? Finally, the blond snatched me up.

"Let me go!" I yelled, kicking and struggling.

"Skeeter! Look at your a-" the boy stared down at my arm. God, is he crazy? He tried to touch my neck, but I elbowed him in the ribs. What the hell?!

He cried out in pain.

"Skeeter, stop fighting me." He groaned, clutching his chest.

"Who the hell are you?!" I barked, pushing him away from me.

"I'm your boyfriend, Zigzag." For a moment, I stared in his crystal blue eyes. Something stirred in my stomach. But, I kicked him to the ground anyway. Crazy guy! He cried out again.

"I don't have a boyfriend." Another boy grabbed me and then more. Before I knew it, I was being dragged into a building that said office. Right as I entered the doorway, everything went black.

_Do you remember a time when you didn't forget?_

_Do you remember when you didn't have to worry about forgetting?_

_But, now, you're worried about remembering._

_You used to worry about forgetting your memories. Your precious memories._

_Why do you cry, Scarlet Angel?_

_Is it because you gave up those memories?_

_Why did you give them up?_

_Because you did hurt him?_

_You did hurt him, didn't you?_

_You, Scarlet Angel, ruined his life._

_No one needed to ruin yours because yours already was ruined._

_Now, you're gone._

_You've left poor Ricky._

_Although, I think there is a valid reason why._

_You wanted the best for Ricky Kasch, didn't you?_

_You loved him. You loved him so very much._

_That was why you left._

_Now you've only ruined him more._

_Because if there is one thing worse than hating someone, it's losing them._

_Now, you cry. You cry because there is nothing else left to do._

_You are gone, Scarlet Angel._

_You will never ever return._

_You were always just a memory waiting to be forgotten._

...


	22. The New Suicide

**I know I might drift away from the holes plot in these next few chapters but I need to get this storyline down. Hopefully, you'll love it as much as I do. Review!**

_Present Time_

The light in my eyes isn't from the sun. It's from a lamp overhead. My face is dried with tears that used to be. Where am I? It looks like a hospital room, but I don't know why I'm here. I'm supposed to be home, aren't I? The only thing on me is a thin hospital gown with blue flowers on it. The blanket is covering me to my waist. Then there's the thing in my lap. It's a picture of a girl. She's trying to be pretty, I can tell, and she is smiling. Behind her is a hospital hall. She looks so happy. I don't know who she is or how I got this picture. But, I love it already. It even makes me laugh a little.

I take out the IV in my arm and slip out of the room. I need to find my way home. The nurses don't pay me any attention. I just glance through open doors. They are all filled with sick people. At one point, I halt. There's a boy. He isn't sick. The name on the door says Ricky Kasch. The name Ricky rings a bell. I slip inside and come closer to the boy. He has frizzy blonde hair and tan skin. He's asleep though. He's in a hospital gown too. A cut run's up his cheek. On his arm is a cut so deep it needs stitches. His ankle is wrapped up and looks broken. I sigh and stare at him longer. Ricky Kasch...Then, the boy shuffles and I panic. His eyes open and I can't get over the beautiful blue. Ricky Kasch.

"Who are you?" He asks with a hoarse voice. I look at myself up and down.

"I, um, don't know. I'm so sorry." He sits up, wincing a bit.

"Scarlet?" Scarlet? That's a pretty name.

"I don't know her." I say, rocking on my bare feet.

"I know you. You're Scarlet Angel Weathers." I smile. He must've hit his head pretty hard.

"You're Ricky Kasch." He nods.

"What happened to you?" I ask, coming closer.

"I was beat up by X-Ray and B-tent for lying about you." Boy, he must've really hurt himself.

"Scarlet Angel, I need to tell you something. Come here." I lean in towards him.

"Yes, Ricky?"

"I love you. I know you don't remember me or Green Lake, but I love you so much. You'll remember me one day. I'll get my Scarlet Angel back." I give him a crazy look.

"Look, you're a sweet boy. You're really attractive too. But, I think you might have hit your head too hard. My name isn't Scarlet." Ricky only smiles and lays his head back.

"Alright." I give him a last look. "Bye, Ricky." Soon, he falls back asleep, and I navigate my way back into my room.

Stanley's POV:

Everyone glares at X-Ray as if he's Satan himself. After Skeeter was driven to the hospital, Zigzag confessed about Skeeter's mental disability. Then, X-Ray began hitting Zig for betraying the tent. B-tent got in on the action. Zig was later driven to the hospital with broken ribs (from Skeeter), a large gash in his arm (courtesy of B-tent), and a broken ankle. So, here we are.

"What?" X snaps when he sees us glaring.

"I oughta beat the sh** outta you. He was my best friend!" Squid yells. X-Ray rolls his eyes.

"Whatever. You're all soft."

"Go to hell, X-Ray!" Squid growls, storming out of the tent. We all stay quiet, alarmed by Squid's tantrum. No one is for sure if Zigzag and Skeeter are coming back. They had taken pretty big blows each. I glance over at my friend, Zero. We share a look for a moment.

"How the hell was I supposed to know B-tent would gang up?" Then, Mom bursts through the tent flap, holding Squid by the collar. He flings the boy back to his cot.

"Did I not make myself clear when I said stay in the tent? There's no digging today. Now, D-tent, Rex, I am very disappointed in you all. There was to be no fighting whatsoever. Though, you put 2 campers in the hospital—very disappointing. For the rest of the month, everyone will dig two holes." Mom turns to leave.

"Are...are they coming back?" I ask in a weak voice.

Mom faces me and glances down at his clipboard.

"We've been informed that Ricky will return after a few weeks. Scarlet's fate has not been decided yet. We suspect she will be carrying out the rest of her sentence in her local mental hospital."

Mom leaves with an angry silence. We just look at each other. I want to accuse X-Ray of causing this whole mess, but it isn't his fault fully. If Skeeter hadn't gotten herself sent here, Zigzag wouldn't have anything to hide. Then, he wouldn't have gotten beaten. I don't want to accuse Skeeter either. She wouldn't have committed her crime in the first place if she wasn't...disturbed. It was a group effort I guess. Lately, it's been pretty quiet here. When Skeeter left, everyone began worrying. She had forgotten everything, and we don't know why. I had seen her arm clean. Why was her arm clean? Her book was gone too. It was like she was trying to forget her life. Then, I came to realization.

"That wasn't any accident." I say.

"What're you talking about, Caveman?" Armpit asks.

"Skeeter made her forget everything. She was trying to get out of Green Lake. She knew if she made herself go insane, she could leave Camp Green Lake. That was why she hid her book and cleaned her arm." Magnet smirks.

"Smart thinking, Caveman." He says. It's not in a tone that makes me feel any better.

"How does that help us now? They're both gone. And we all have to dig more holes." X-Ray growls. I roll my eyes. He makes it sound like digging is the worst thing in the world. But, it's not. It's not even close. Digging is only a fraction of pain compared to the feeling we all really had—the feeling of when you've lost someone. Because if there is one thing I've learned during my time knowing Scarlet Angel Weathers, it's that hating someone isn't the worst feeling. It's when you've lost that person that really takes the cake.


	23. Forget Me Nots

**I think I'm doing alright with these chapters. I haven't gotten any feedback since the last one so I suppose I'm still not totally sucking. I hope to hear your input. Review and enjoy the show!**

**~M&M**

_**Part 3—Forget Me Nots**_

_Scarlet's POV:_

For the 2nd time in my entire life, I was visited by someone. It wasn't Rooney or René or Mother. It was someone much better.

"Scarlet Angel, wake up." A voice whispers in the darkness. I shuffle a bit before flicking on a lamp on the small bedside table. I would guess it's around 3 in the morning. Then, the face of Ricky Kasch lights up. He's closer than I thought he would be.

"_Woah_," I remark, pushing him away a bit. I had sworn he was asleep. Actually, I haven't spoken to Ricky Kasch in a week. All I've been doing is sleeping and trying to get my memory back. I'm supposed to be visited by my parents in a couple days. But, I wouldn't count on that. There are many things I do remember. I remember my mother and René and Rooney. Other than that, I don't know anything. I was confirmed that I am Scarlet Angel Weathers, so I've been meaning to speak with Ricky about what he knows about me.

"I'm so glad to see you." He says in a beautiful Texas accent.

"I've been wanting to talk to you, Ricky." He smiles wider. The boy is sitting on my bed, happy as can be.

"I was told that I'm Scarlet. You mentioned that you _knew_ me? I need you to tell me everything you know about me. How much _do_ you know?" He shrugs.

"A good amount." I curl my knees into my arms and nod.

"Go ahead."

"Well, I met you at this camp for boys. It was for guys who committed crimes. You dressed as a boy and hid yourself. You told me later on that you were hiding yourself from going to jail. You used to write names and places on your arms because you had memory-loss. At one point you even gave me a picture of you when you were younger. That was the picture that I put on your bed. When your disguise failed, I was there. I was there to help you because I knew that it didn't matter if you were the most unstable person in the world. I still saw beauty and greatness in you. I was the first person to know about your disabilities. You became an amazing person. Every day, I was allowed to get up and watch an angel at work. It was the highlight of my day."

Ricky smiles in thought.

"So, one night you had nightmares of your past life. You told me about them that night. It was very personal to you. I could tell. Then...Then, I kissed you. It was actually my first kiss, and I wanted it to be with you and not some girl at home that I'd never truly understand. I mean, I've been diagnosed with the crazy. It would be impossible to find someone else like you. You...you pushed me away. I realized that I had gone too far. You didn't want a relationship. Maybe you were scared. Maybe you didn't even like me.

"I became silent for so long. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just so confused on what I did wrong—so confused it got me angry. I was jumping back and forth between why you didn't like me. We got into a fight later, and for a moment—for one moment—I hated you. But, when you ran out of that room...and I saw what I'd done to you, I only hated myself."

Tears start to make his eyes gleam. They begin trickling down. Yet, he continues to smile.

"Then...Then, here comes the funny part. You-You cleaned your arm and threw away the book with all your memories in it. You made yourself forget your life. When I woke up and saw the blank...hollow look in your eyes, I nearly cried. You fought to get away from me and broke 3 of my ribs. You-you were taken to the hospital.

"Then, I was beaten up because I kept the secret that you were crazy and forgot everything. I betrayed our tent...My world was literally falling apart. Scarlet Angel was gone. My friends hated me. Now, I'm alone...Scarlet. She was bliss. She made life interesting. She may have looked weak, but she was the strongest girl I've ever known. Scarlet accepted her permanent amnesia and carried on like it was a normal day."

We're quiet afterwards. We can't even breathe.

"Did...did she love you?" I ask, softly. Ricky wipes his tears away and ducks his head down.

"I don't know. I never found out. She left too quickly. She practically committed suicide." I unfurl myself from my legs and come closer to him.

"Hey, look at me." I say in a soft, airy voice. I lift his head up to look into mine.

"Ricky, I can't promise you that I'll ever be Scarlet again. I know you may think so, but she isn't really gone."

"What?" He replies.

"The girl you loved. Deep down, crammed into the little spaces, she's still there. Scarlet isn't dead. She's just...hiding." A small smile plays on his lips.

"Just hiding? Does that mean you're going to work to bring her back?" He asks. I nod.

I like Ricky Kasch. He is what I want to be. He's strong and passionate about this girl. And if Scarlet is what he longs for, d**mit, that's what he'll get.

"I'll work every day, and I'll tell the nurses you can help me remember. At the same time, we'll both be healing. See, Ricky, I want Scarlet back as much as you do. But, I can't make any promises. You may just have me." He smiles and leans closer.

"That's alright too." Before I know what he means, his lips fall onto mine. This time, I don't push him away. I pull him closer. He smiles and puts a hand on my back. We fall back onto my bed and laugh together. For the moment, I do feel like Scarlet. For the moment, I love him.

For the next week, I look at old pictures of me, talk to Ricky, and even visit my dad. He's such a nice person. He even calls me "Angel." But, the moment I came out, he began crying. Scarlet must've touched a lot of people. I'm going through a box of pictures Dad gave me when Ricky limps in. They did surgery on his ankle and stitched up his gash earlier in the week. He's been told to take it easy, but since I'm here, he won't. He always wants to go to my room though I've told him 3 times today to go rest. I sigh, not looking up from the photos.

"Go back to bed, Ricky. I'm busy."

"I don't care. You can't make me go back to that room. It's so empty and cold." It is. My room is always lit with either moonlight or sunlight. It's never dark. Beautiful flowers and balloons sit on the other side of the room. There is nothing in Ricky's room.

"Well, you need to rest more. You're still limping." He shrugs and sits on the bed.

"Honestly, I still don't care. We have only a few more days before going back to the camp." I lift my head up and smile.

"No, I'm not going." Ricky's face drops.

"What?" He asks blankly.

"They're sending me to Illinois in a really nice mental hospital. They're going to try to help me find a way to remember things. Isn't that great? I can finally get rid of all this." I climb off of the bed and put the photos up.

"Illinois?" He whimpers.

"Yeah. It's somewhere up north. My whole family is moving there." I return to the bed and see how shocked Ricky is.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, concerned.

"Illinois is such a long way away from Texas." I shrug.

"You wanted Scarlet back, didn't you? I go there and I can get her back. Isn't that what you wanted all along, Ricky? Isn't that why you came in my room in the first place?" The speechless boy stumbles for words.

"I'm leaving Tuesday." I pack the photos in the suitcase I was given.

"No. That isn't why I came in the room. That isn't what I wanted." I turn to face him.

"Then, what did you want?" He looks down at his hands.

"I did want Scarlet but that wasn't all I wanted. You're always going to be here. I know that. I really only wanted you." I sit next to him on the bed and brush a strand of hair out of his face.

"There is nothing I can do about it. The trip is already planned out. I'm sorry, Ricky." His jaw tightens.

"I'm going to find a way out of this for you. I'll get you back to Camp Green Lake." I stand him up.

"You need to rest. C'mon." I help him out into the hallway and back into his sad room. He stumbles back onto the bed.

"Scarlet, I'm sorry." He says. I kiss his cheek and smile.

"We all are."

I find my way back to my room and close the door tightly. Then, I cry. I cry so hard they might hear me. I don't want to leave him. I didn't ever want to leave Ricky Kasch the moment his eyes flickered open that night. I kept it together for him. But, now the damage is done. Mother, the one who planned the trip, has ruined my life officially. Most likely, she doesn't know about Ricky. So, I'm leaving the only thing that truly mattered to me in Texas. He is so right about Illinois being far away. A long-distance relationship wouldn't ever work. I have to leave him for another jail cell to be put in.


	24. The Rehabilitation Camp

**I think in this chapter, I'll be kicking up dust. It's mighty long. So, I know you'll like it. I'm watching Holes right now and it literally feels like it's the first time all over again...Review please!**

It's Tuesday. The dreaded day that I've been crying over. My bag is hooked around the fingers of my dad, and my mom's toothy grin is mocking me. Your boyfriend is going to die in that hell hole called Camp Green Lake. A shiver runs up my spine. I don't get to say goodbye to Ricky because he's getting onto the bus to go back. Mom's hand grips my wrist, the nails digging in my skin. I pull away before I wince.

"You okay, Angel?" Dad asks, turning around. I nod. My parent's sign me out at the desk and I stare at Ricky's empty room. It looks even sadder than before. The name tag has been taken off. I glance back up at my parents when they're finished. My mother grips my hand again, and we make our way out of the hospital. We leave to the car in the parking lot. The bus isn't that far away. Actually, it just pulled up. The bus driver leaves the bus unattended and goes inside to pick Ricky up. Then, an idea comes to mind.

I have done some insane things in my lifespan. I've put a cigarette to my skin and laughed at the pain. I cut myself and drew paintings with the blood. I murdered someone. I even mocked death itself with my existence. But, this is just as crazy.

"Dad. I left a picture in my room. Right under the bed, I remember. It's my favorite one. Please, can you go get it?" I ask. Dad sighs.

"Georgina? Can you go take Scarlet to get her _picture?"_ I panic. No.

"Wait. I'm starting to remember things...trips...in the car...yeah." Dad's eyes light up, and he agrees to get the picture. When he's gone and it's just Mom and me, I look her straight in the eye. The old Scarlet may have been afraid of Mom, but this one isn't.

"Now, you listen to me. I remember you more than anything. I remember how mean and terrible and b****y you were. I'm not going to put up with it, because the love of my life is about to get on that bus and leave me. I am not getting in that car.

I am not going to Illinois.

I am not leaving Ricky Kasch in Camp Green Lake. You're going to let me go and tell Dad it was my choice to leave." In movies, you usually get a happy ending. The enemy sometimes has a soft spot. After the things said about my mother, you'd think she doesn't have a soft spot. She pulls me in closer, and, suddenly, I'm completely afraid. Instead, she hugs me. She hugs me.

My mother hasn't hugged me until the day I went in for my first diagnosis. She cries into my shoulder, mumbling apologies for everything. I guess when she found out my memory had been wiped clean, she became guilty. I actually like the hug. I feel like I have a mother finally. Finally. I tear away, give that wretched woman a last look, and race onto the bus. I hide at the back of the bus, imagining the look on his face when he finds out I'm going with him. Then, I wait.

Minutes later, people enter the bus. Ricky and the bus driver share a quick glance before sitting down. The depressed look on his face is unbearable. I can't imagine him going back to the camp and telling his friends about me leaving. All I picture is him nearly on tears and stumbling for words. But, now that I'm here...I'm here! God, how am I going to act there? I won't know anyone. I sigh reluctantly. Ricky sits close to me. The bus driver starts it up and begins pulling into the road. When we're out of sight of the hospital, I get a burst of confidence. Suddenly, I reach out and poke his hair. Ricky Kasch turns around and his face lights up.

"Are you insane?" He exclaims.

"Yes, thank you." He scrambles for me and I jump into his row. The boy hugs me tightly, peppering my face in kisses.

"Oh Jesus, I thought you were seriously gone."

"Yeah, no way. I hid in the bus and escaped my mom. I am going to Camp Green Lake and finishing my sentence with you." Ricky smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Ah, you're so awesome." I smile too.

"That's my specialty at the moment." Finally, when we arrive, I become confused. There's holes everywhere. The hot air stripes me bare, and I struggle to stay cool. I spot a lizard near a hole and a memory strikes me like a gun.

_I awoke with a jerk when the bus hit a giant bump. I couldn't remember where I was, and I started freaking out. Then my fingers touched the handcuffs and the memories flowed back. That was the cool thing about my memory loss. I could forget things then touch an item that was in that memory and it all would come back. I liked to think of it as my own little superpower. Outside, within the dust-filled air, I could see holes. They started out as few then it began to look like the craters in the moon. Why were there so many freakin holes? I attempted to ask the police officer, but relented. He seemed like he hated me enough. I noticed how much the heat had grown. It didn't come as a huge surprise, I mean, come on. It's Texas we're talking about._

I jerk back. The image of my innocent face staring out the bus window had rammed into my vision. I've been here before. Ricky touches my shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asks. I take longs breaths, keeping control of myself.

"I...I've been here before." A smile creeps up on his face.

"Really? You remember being on this bus?" I nod, looking out the window. The camp appears. It's bustling with boys all shapes and sizes.

"That's great, Scarlet." I try to smile, but it comes out as an awkward, lopsided grin. The bus pulls up and stops forcefully. A cheesy looking man stands outside. He looks so familiar.

"That's Mom. We call him that because he looks like a little soccer mom." I nod, not paying much attention. The driver stands up and ushers us out. He gives me a double look, unable to tell if I was on in the first place. I leave quickly. when we get out, we both go into a coughing fit—definitely not used to the air. The man's face goes into shock when he sees me.

"Scarlet, you weren't supposed to come back to camp." He says in a chipper-like voice.

"I needed to *cough* finish my sentence." He awkwardly smiles.

"Great. Well, welcome back. Follow me, you two." Nervously, Ricky and I follow Mom across the sandy dirt and into a building. The man hands us sets of orange jumpsuits and a pair of boots.

"Undress." My eyes light up, and a giant blush covers my whole face.

"What?" I whimper.

"Undress into your jumpsuits." He repeats. Ricky stifles a laugh and begins to climb out of his clothes. He glances at me, and I look at him nervously. He merely nods and smirks. I roll my eyes and begin undressing. A blush is tattooed onto my face the entire time.

When we're in the jumpsuits, I straighten my back out and clench my fists. We both have blushes on and our uncomfortable sighs.

"Alright, let's get you both back to the tent." My scared nerves crawl back up in me, and I'm forced to follow them near a large tent named D. It's silent and I have to wonder if there's even anyone in there.

"Boys, Ricky's back." We walk in and the faces of multiple boys light up. They rush over, shocked to the core.

"Yo, Mom, Skeeter wasn't supposed to come back." said one boy.

"She apparently snuck onto the bus with Ricky." Mom replies.

"Who's Skeeter?" I ask, scared I forgot something important. One boy's face drops.

"That was your nickname before..." One boy stands up, a saddened look on his face.

"Sorry, Zig, for beating you into a pulp." Zig? I nudge Ricky and he glances down at me.

"That's my nickname. Zigzag." I smile. But, Rick-Zigzag frowns down at the boy.

"Yeah, I bet you're really sorry, X-Ray." Zigzag pushes past him to an empty cot.

"Scar, come here." I push past them, feeling smaller than normal.

"Yeah?" He pats an empty cot right next to his.

"That's yours." I nod and start unpacking the bag I snuck on the bus."

"Well, if anything happens with Scarlet, come tell me, Ricky. I want you to watch after her." Zigzag nods, kissing my forehead. It's silent as Mom leaves.

"Hey, Zigzag. What happened...with Scarlet." A boy whispers next to Zigzag. Zig leans over.

"I'll tell you later." I hold back my wince.

"Hey, Scarlet," comes the same boy.

"Do you remember me?" he asks. I shake my head.

"I'm Stanley. I was your friend before." I nod, continuing my secluded ways.

"Yo, Scarlet," I turn around and face the boy who apologized to Zig.

"We need to introduce ourselves. I'm X-Ray. That's Armpit, Magnet, Squid, Caveman, and Zero."

"Okay..."

Suddenly, I cringe and fall back on the cot.

"Scarlet!"

_"You'll be in D-Tent. I bet the boys will accommodate you well." I rolled my eyes and tried to remember the name of the camp again. Pendanski led me to a large green canvas tent with D hung on the front. He opened the front and led me inside. _

_"The boys seem to be not here right now. I'll leave you to get unpacked and check up on you later. There's an empty bed right over there. Good luck." He patted my back and left. I was alone. Finally. A smile grew on my lips. This would be fun. I loved playing dress up when I was a kid. This would be the same thing. It was just acting in a way. I prepared myself. I made sure none of my girl parts were visible, and I looked like a boy. I practiced walking and , I unpacked. I hid my feminine things and put my notebooks and pictures under my bed. When I was settled, I heard footsteps heading inside. I prepared for the worst. The tent flap opened and three guys entered. Two were African American and the other was Caucasian. _

_"Who the hell are you?" One black oversized boy asked. _

_"S-Simon... I'm new here." I said in my boyish voice. They seemed to buy it. _

_"Well, I'm X-Ray, dats Armpit and Squid." The weirdest names. I quickly took out my sharpie and wrote their names on my wrists. That's where I kept all of my information. When the names faded, they were forgotten._

"Scarlet!" My eyes flash on. D-tent's huddled around me. My body lays limply on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Zigzag asks, pulling me up.

"Yeah, yeah. I just...lost my balance." I hold onto him, my head spinning like a carousel.

"Hey, go ahead and sit down." Zig leads me on the cot. When, I sit down, they begin fanning out of the tent. I guess I shouldn't be sorry for myself. They just lost Scarlet Weathers, their friend...I think. It only makes me want to get her back even more. Zigzag stays, watching me carefully.

"Hey," he puts a hand on mine.

"Are you gonna be okay?" He asks.

"Yeah," I reply simply. I'm not sure what's going on with these sudden flashbacks, but they're making me concerned. They always leave me dizzy and scared of losing myself again. But, I don't mention that to Zigzag. He stands up.

"Do you want me to show you around?" He asks. I shake my head.

"I'll manage." I mumble. Zigzag leaves the tent, making me the only person inside. I straighten myself up and take in a deep breath. I can do this. Life is like painting a picture. I made a good one last time. Now, I get a new, clean canvas. Paint a picture, Scarlet.


	25. The Death Penalty

**Heyo! It's been great getting feedback from you all. I really like to hear it so don't be shy! **

**Enjoy the chapter.**

**~M&M**

My life is made up out of 4 things I truly care about. My father. That cigarette feeling. Ricky Kasch. And my memory. I've lost two of those things now. It's been a week since my return to Green Lake. That means I've experienced a week of holes and a week of sweat. Now, I get a week of pain.

"Scarlet," calls Mom. I turn around from my cot and see Mom by the doorway of the tent.

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Sir and I need to talk to you." Fear instantly fills my body. It's the warden. It's the warden. God, it's gonna be the warden, isn't it? I cringe and follow him into the office where the grumpy old guy who I earlier met sits. When I notice the warden isn't there, I become curious and anxious. The look on their face is a sad one.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Yesterday, around 1 a.m., your father became intoxicated at a local bar. He drove home drunk and crashed into another car. The vehicle set on fire and...he didn't get out in time."

I stand stricken with overload.

"What?"

"Your father's dead, Scarlet. He died this morning in the hospital." Frozen in place, I begin laughing softly. I laugh harder and harder until I fall over and begin sobbing into the ground. He's gone. The only thing keeping me apart from my witch of a mother is gone. The thing I love most is dead. I begin screaming and crying. I don't care that I'm in a camp full of boys. I don't care that I'm crying in front of two grown men. I've lost my father. Screw everyone else.

I crawl back into the tent, stumbling and crying still. No one is coming to get me anymore. I never even said bye. I just lied to him and left. His heartless daughter left him on death's door. I huddle myself into a ball and begin sobbing. Then, there are footsteps. They stop right outside the entrance and whispering starts. Afterwards, the footsteps trail away.

I keep breathing and crying and wishing it was me instead. Then, the tent flaps opens. Squid walks in and sits next to me. He doesn't say anything. He just sighs and stares down at his hands. I don't know much about his life. I just know he just has a smart mouth and his name was Alan. Finally, he says something.

"When I was 3, my dad left us. He said he was 'going for ice cream'. It was the lamest excuse. Mom started on alcohol and never got off it. She even wanted to try drugs. She started hitting me real bad when nights were quiet—when she started thinking about Dad. She lost her job soon enough, and I started stealing from houses. It wasn't anything much—just loose change and cans of soda. But, he never came back, he never said anything.

Then, right before I got here, I found out that he committed suicide. The ba***** didn't even consider his boy at home, wondering where he was. He didn't even think about the boy who wasted shooting stars on wishing his father would come home or the boy who had to answer to why his dad didn't come for school Father's Day lunch or the son who had a dad who died by weakness not in the military at all."

I stare at Squid. He's looking at his hands. His eyes are glossy and humble. But, I feel every word of his story.

"If there's anyone in this da** camp who knows how you're feeling, it's me. I don't want to say I'm sorry because I know it wasn't my fault. But, I do want to say that your dad was most likely a better than mine. In fact, your dad was a dad. He probably acted like one. For that, I have to cherish him. You loved him of course. From the look on your face, you do. So, he didn't die alone or hated. He died a good death because he didn't give up on anything. He didn't give up on life or you or anyone as far as I know. He was a strong man either way, Scarlet."

I watch Squid's hand slide into mine. He squeezes it slightly and looks down at me.

"Thanks." I whisper. He smiles softly and nods. Then, we stare ahead at the blank nothingness—just thinking about dads and how much it sucks losing them.

Zigzag did console me when he heard the news about my dad. But, it wasn't as heart-to-heart as Squid had made it. Maybe it was because Zigzag still had his dad. He didn't quite feel what I did. That's okay. I'm not going to drop him because he didn't understand one thing. He understands everything else.

"I think I'm going to die right here on this ground. You'll have to bury me in the dirt." I groan under the vigorous sun. I shovel again and hear Stanley chuckle. He's been trying to talk to me a lot lately. I'm not really sure why. He's a weird dude.

"Skeeter?" I look up and see the outline of Stanley.

"Hey," I reply.

"Do you wanna hang out with me in the Wreck Room after today? I really want to talk to you." I weigh my options of feeling sorry for myself in the tent or actually doing something.

"Sure...I'll see ya later, Caveman." He walks away quietly.

After my hole's dug, I climb out and go back to the camp. Now would be the time to run away. But, I know what would happen. I'd either lose myself or die alone under the sun. Neither are options for me. Only when I get back to the camp do I realize something. I haven't forgotten anything or anyone in at least a week. I'm on a winning streak!

I let out a tiny squeal and race to the Wreck room. A wave of boy odor passes over me. It's a mix of sweat, dirt, and the pungent smell of rotting meat. I gag at first. Then, I spot Zigzag and Squid playing pool with Magnet and C-tent. Stanley is by the mail slot, talking to Zero. I smile and move closer to the both of them.

"Hey, guys. Zero...right?" I say casually. A saddened look crosses his face.

"Yeah, it is." I cock my head, not understanding why he's so upset.

"Anyway, Skeeter. We gotta talk. Zero, do you mind if we talk alone for a bit?"

"Nah, man." Zero walks out of the Wreck Room. Caveman glances at his feet before looking back up at me.

"You really don't remember me at all?" He asks. I shake my head.

"I only remember bits and pieces of Scarlet's life. But, the wipeouts have been less frequent."

"Well, I was your best friend. At least, that was what I thought." He mumbles the last part, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Caveman stands over me about 2-3 inches—other than Zigzag who's about a whole foot above me.

"I could believe that, Caveman. You're a pretty nice guy." He smiles a little.

"Thanks. I just wanted to make sure you never thought of me badly. We just...miss her. But, I'm sure you'll find her again." My smile fades.

"Right," I remark, my confidence sliding underneath me. Lately, the need for old Scarlet has been surrounding me and everyone who knew her. What if I can't get her back? Is Scarlet really lost? I heave my worries away from me and nod in Caveman's direction.

"Thanks, Skeeter. I'll see you later." He says, going back out for Zero. I glance near the pool table and see Squid looking at me. I return a look that reassures him. I guess he's still worried about my daddy problem. He turns back to his game, ready to take his turn. Just then, I feel a pain as my hair is yanked up in a fist.

"What're you doing back here? Thought I got rid of you and psycho for good." I don't cry out but gasp. The voice is hard and breathy next to my ear. I can't tell who it was because I'm not facing the person. He yanks harder.

"Ricky!" I cry out, not caring about his nickname. I struggle against the meaty fist holding my hair back. Clawing is obviously useless. The pool players all turn towards us, and Zigzag immediately storms over towards us. Squid and the rest of the players are following. Then, I hear the click of a pocket knife and spot it near my skin. Everyone freezes. Many questions run through my mind. How does this guy even have a knife? What's he going to exactly do with it? Why does he hate me? What did I do? Who is he?

"Lump, put it down." Squid says, as calmly as possible. Zig looks impatient and nervous about the situation.

"How the hell did she get back here?" He growls.

"She didn't die. She just lost her memory." Zigzag tries to explain. The giant pulls harder, making me wince.

"So, my boys didn't beat you hard enough?" He taunts towards Zig.

"Put the knife down, Lump." Squid says again, coming closer. He only presses it to my skin, barely making a cut. You could hear a pin drop throughout the room. There's a moment of quick silence before the boy laughs.

"Lost her memory, huh? I'll have lots of time to make new ones then."

"Isn't that right, sweetheart?" He whispers in my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin. He makes a quick, short cut on my cheek and pushes me aside. I stumble before falling onto the couch. Zig looks about ready to burst.

"Zig, stay cool." Squid mutters towards his friend. His eyes dart to mine. He leaves Lump behind and helps me up.

"Hey, you alright?" He asks, holding me closer to him than usual.

"Yeah, it's just a cut." I wipe the blood away quickly, wanting to leave the room. Lump slides the knife back in his jumpsuit, and the group spreads out again, brushing the incident aside.

"Who was that?" I ask as Zig leads me to the pool game they are all returning to.

"The b**ch that put me in the hospital and revealed your secret."


	26. The Right Way to Do Things

**Heya, this chapter's kinda short. Sorry. The way I have this story set up is weird. It'll be longer next time. I hope you guys are liking it!**

**~M&M**

I have no idea what Scarlet could've done to have Lump hate her so much. There's literally not a clue in my mind. I stay near Zigzag the rest of the day—not because I'm afraid though. I'm more tired and frustrated at everything. Yet, I'm bothered by him. Every time I looked at him I saw that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at old Scarlet. He's still hooked on old Scarlet. We all are. We walk back to the tent in silence. I stare own at my boots, dusty and old. They're probably 2x bigger than my actual feet. Yet, they seem to fit Zigzag just fine.

"Sorry...for what happened back there. I didn't expect him to still be angry. Lump's always been a brat. He listens to The Backstreet Boys so much." I chuckle.

"Really?"

"Good god, yes. He used to play their album on constant _repeat_ every day. It was obnoxious. Then, somehow X got ahold of a different Backstreet Boys album and we all got extra orange juice for a week. That was great. See, that's what I'm talking about. Mutual loyalty." I cock my eyebrow.

"What?" Zigzag's face darkens.

"Oh, yeah. You don't remember." We walk in silence, left with the bad aftertaste of regret. Then, I stumble on a pile of dust and clutch onto Zig so I don't fall. His fingertips run across mine, and I completely collapse.

_"I was like that too. Still am. I think it's kinda great I met you. For once in my life, there's someone who understands everything. I'm not alone anymore." Zigzag took my hand and ran his fingertips across mine. They were soft and light and almost tickled. But, I loved it. Suddenly, I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel misunderstood or forgotten or like Helen Keller. I didn't have to be locked up in a box. There was someone who understood the language I was speaking. A smile played on my lips as I stared back up at him. Then, Zigzag leaned in a little closer and tilted my chin up. He whispered a simple "I'm sorry" and kissed me. I felt the same sensation I did with the cigarette—pure pleasure. My stomach rose to my throat, and I froze. He took over at my weak moment and rested a hand on my cheek. I didn't know exactly what the hell was going on or why he kissed me. But, I loved it, and he proceeded. Finally, he pulled away, and I took short, quick breaths. I turned away from him and tried to breathe correctly. He kissed me. On one half, I was overjoyed. On the other, I wanted to cry. Zigzag just destroyed the barrier I had around me. I worked for building it so many years. Maybe I was only building it so it could be knocked down. I didn't know._

_"Scarlet, are you okay?" I kept away from him, totally abandoning him. It was wrong to leave him on a cliff like that, but I was so confused. I wanted to forget yet remember. I was more frustrated than I had ever been before._

My eyes flutter. Lord, I fall an awful lot. Zig is staring straight at me with a face that is all business. My eyes light up.

"_Zig-_"

"What is going on with you?" He demands. Taken aback, I look for words.

"What-What do you mean?" I ask.

"You've been going into these miniature comas—waking up and saying you're fine. What is wrong with you?" I fumble with my fingers.

"I think I'm starting to remember. At the bus, I remember first getting here. In the tent, I remember you all introducing yourselves. Now, I remember the kiss. What I did to you...Zigzag, I'm so sorry." He ducks his head, his hair hanging in his eyes.

"You remember? Really?" I nod. A grin dances across his face. He comes closer and presses his lips to mine. But, it feels he's only kissing Scarlet—not Skeeter. I press my hands against his chest and he backs off.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I just need some time, alright? I'm not upset. I just need time." He hesitates, unsure if I'm pulling another rejection on him. He walks out of the tent.

"Wait, Zigzag?" He turns around.

"I was wrong. Scarlet isn't hiding. Scarlet's dead."


	27. Building Character

For the next many days, I ignored the things around me. I ignored my disabilities and the problems it leads me to. I just acted like a regular person. I talked to Squid a lot and hung out with Caveman. Though, I've tried to keep my space from Ziggy. I don't want to hurt him. I just want to figure myself out before anything immense happens.

That means staying around other people. I've mostly been hanging out with Squid. He's a great guy. He's been trying to teach me pool but I suck. I guess he thinks it's amusing to watch me scramble and fail. I don't mind. One day, X-ray gets to leave the digging spot early. The warden comes, insisting on everyone to dig harder. I don't know why. No one knows. I watch Squid closely at the pool table. He's playing while talking mindlessly.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you were absolutely crazy. It's really funny. You probably don't want to hear much about your old self, huh?" I shake my head.

"Not much. It makes me feel like I'm not living up to what she was." He takes his shot.

"Then, I'm always glad to talk about myself." He says. I snicker.

"Man, you should've been here around when I came. Pit was insane, looking in every hole to make sure there weren't any yellow-spotted lizards. He would even go to the bathroom in the holes. He was terrified of those things." Squid laughs. I force a chuckle, but remain casually quiet.

"Who came to Green Lake first? Out of D-tent, I mean." I ask.

"Well, that'd be X first. Then, Pit. Then, I came around. After that, Zigzag came. Then, Magnet and Zero and Caveman."

"Then, me?"

"Yeah, you." Squid takes another shot.

"Hey, are you ignoring Zig again?" I shake my head.

"I just told him I needed some space." I reply, simply.

"You...aren't with him, are you?" I feel my cheeks grow pink.

"I don't know. I don't think so. We're just really really close friends." I say, trying not to laugh at myself. Squid finds the joke and smirks.

"Haha, Weathers." I smile the slightest.

"I'm not completely humorless." He pinches his fingers together.

"Only a little." He says, teasingly.

"Tell me more about Green Lake." I say, stuffing my hands between my knees.

"Not much to tell. When I got here, X wasn't the ringmaster. There were like 3 other guys—Jinx, Double S, and Riptide. They left though. Well, Double S was bitten by a lizard...It wasn't pretty. He's probably still in the hospital. Surprised that boy didn't turn up dead." A shiver runs down my spine.

"Oh, and Riptide ran away. He was never seen or heard of again." His parents were so eager to file a law suit against Green Lake. That crazy mom was screaming at the warden one day. It was hilarious." I chuckle. Squid's eyes dart to the doorway. I follow his gaze and spot Zigman there. He walks over and snatches a pool stick from a small boy. The boy begins to protest but Zig shoves him away. I can't tell if he's angry or frustrated. He looks kind of both. He takes a perfect shot, landing a ball pin-balling into a hole.

"Hey, Ziggy." greets Squid. He tosses Squid a careless look.

"Your turn." Reluctantly, he takes his shot and the group moves along. Squid keeps giving me looks that seem to say "talk to him." I shake my head at each one. If Zigzag is going to throw a tantrum every time someone pushes him away, then maybe he's not worth it. I ignore the both of them, merely watching the balls.

When the game had finally ends, Squid winning, I leave. It's dark and extremely starry. Though, Squid and I spot a lonely cloud near a distant mountain. Squid, being eager for anything other than heat, pleads for the rain. I fall asleep quite easily. I don't have any dreams. For the next couple days, things are good. The warden is making us dig in these tunnels that make me wonder why we're digging in the first place. Each time I ask, X-Ray snaps because we we're "building character."

I know he doesn't know any more than I do though. I bet they wonder too. Then, there's him. Somehow, I'm not sure that I want to be with Zigzag. Yes, I have a responsibility to be the old Scarlet who loved him most likely. Now, I feel like whenever I'm around him something turns for the worse. I don't want to stay around for what might come next. One day, I scrape dirt off the wall, glancing at my dirt filled fingernails. A girl back home would scream if she could see me like this—gross, sweaty, and dirty as hell. It's quiet, other than Warden's complaining and Mr. Sir's grunts. Soon, the Warden made us stop digging the tunnels. Like I know why.

I brush the dirt off my hands and continue shoveling away. My arms ache and my head is spinning wildly. Then, I hear and wince. I glance over and spot Zigzag hitting Caveman in the back of the head with his shovel. I hold back my gasp when I see blood on the back of the poor boy's neck. Zig shoots me a look and I glare at him warningly. He's pushing my luck. Caveman doesn't suck that much. He's a nice boy who doesn't need to be treated like a nobody.

He has mass. He takes up space. He matters. I chuckle to myself and notice something odd. Caveman and Zero are digging together. Ever since the Warden returned us to our holes, Caveman and Zero have been digging together and hanging out in the tent together. X-Ray looks at Pit before climbing out of his hole and standing over theirs. Squid scrambles over there with him. I can't make out exactly what they're saying but it doesn't look like a friendly conversation. I return to digging.

Sooner than later, the truck comes, and I climb out like I've done many times. We shuffle in line—me being the ultimate last. It takes a while before my bone-dry canteen is filled again and I can get something to eat. As I walk back, I see Zigzag stop and hand over his cookie to Caveman. He retorts at first. I put my canteen down and set down my things. Again, Zig offers more serious. When Caveman refuses a second time, Zigzag suddenly shoves it in the boy's face. The area becomes quiet. Then, both boys stand up and Zig shoves back him. I move forward, ready to break it up if it becomes a fight.

"Go ahead, Caveman. Teach him a lesson." I hear Pendanski remark.

"Yeah, teach me a lesson." Taunts Zig. Then, Caveman does something I honestly don't expect. He takes the offer and slaps Zig. The group watches in awe. Zig tackles Caveman and they fall into a hole. I cringe and run over.

"Stop it!" I yell but no one can hear over the camp's cheering and their own grunts. Dust kicks up and it's hard to see, but I still make out Stanley ramming his elbow into Zig's sore ribs from my own beating.

"Stanley, stop it now!" I scream. They then scramble out and Zigzag punches the other boy hard across the face. Stanley falls to the ground.

"You b**ches! Stop fighting!" I scream, getting in between Stanley's body and an angry Zig. His eyes bore into mine for a second. That second was gone when Zero leaps on top of him and begins chocking him. Fear and dread washes over me. My mouth dries and I can only watch it unfold. Merciless, Zero strangles him, sucking the life out of each tug.

"No!" I yell, pulling the smaller boy. The other boys come and try to get Zero off. Finally, a gun shot rings out and everyone separates. Pendanski's voice roars over.

"Now I said that's enough! When I say to end something, I mean end it! Get back to your hole."


	28. AN—PLEASE READ!

_Hi friends,_

_I know I haven't been updating in a while. That's only because I've realized that Amnesia Girl has to come to an end eventually._

_The hardest thing for me to do is to figure out exactly how to finish what I started._

_I refuse to end this story imperfectly. I can't and won't have the amnesia girl's words left unsaid. I could have a miraculous ending or a tragedy if I wanted. Either way, I have surprises in store for everyone._

_My previous Holes story, Living in Holes, ended stereotypically. I won't make the same mistake here._

_The reason I wrote this author's note is because I've decided to consult my own readers. No one knows Amnesia Girl more than you guys do._

_So, I want your opinion on how the last day/days of Camp Green Lake should be spent._

_If I get this, I'd finally be able to decide on what to do. Plus, I want to know what you think after all these excruciating chapters. It'd be lovely to hear from you all._

_Please comment of PM me about your thoughts. Thank you for this great experience I've had with the D-Tenters of Texas from literally all over the world._

_Till then,_

_~M&M_


	29. DIG

**Sorry for not catching up in a while. I'be been lacking on writing. Enjoy though!**

**~M&M**

Everyone is lined up as if it's death role. The Warden stands in front of us, angry. I stand next to Zig, ignoring his looks over to me and his shoulder bumps to get my attention. I'm ready to tackle and choke him myself.

"Basically, Zero almost killed Ricky," Pendanski explains. The Warden glances over to him.

"Basically?"

"Ziggy was beating up the Caveman, right? And then, Zero started choking Zigzag. I had to pull Zero off of him," Armpit cuts in. The Warden only approaches maliciously.

"Yeah, I mean, you know, Zig just got a little hot. In the sun all day, the blood starts to boil." I roll my eyes at X-Ray's remark. The Warden turns to Zig.

"Is that what happened, Zigzag?" she asks. He tears his eyes from me to the towering woman.

"Yup. Like X-Ray said, working all day in the hot sun. You know, Caveman sits around and does nothing." She gives him a crazed look.

"Excuse me? Caveman digs his hole just like everyone else," she retorts.

"Sometimes."

"Excuse me?"

Then, Squid blurts in. Good thing because one more second of it and Zig's fate wouldn't be looking good.

"Ma'am, Zero's been digging a part of Caveman's hole every day." They all turn to the poor boy. I listen intently.

"You're not digging holes no more?" barks Mr. Sir. "Huh?"

"I'm...I'm teaching him how to read." Read? Is that why they've been together like that?

"What?"

"He's a smart kid," suggests Stanley. Pendanski raises his eyebrows.

"Smart? Ha, oh yeah? Hey, Zero, what does C-A-T spell, huh? What does it spell?" Sadly, Zero ducks his head. A smile of sucess dances on Pendanki's lips.

"Yeah, he's a real genius. He's so stupid, he doesn't even know he's stupid," teases the counselor.

"Okay, from now on, I don't want anyone digging anyone else's hole. Is that clear?" the Warden instructs, scanning over the boys. Then, she aims in on Stanley.

"And no more reading lessons." She glares.

"Why? I mean, the hole gets dug. Who cares who's digging it, right?" Stanley presses.

"You know why you're digging holes? 'Cus it's good for ya—teaches you a lesson," Mr. Sir shouts.

"If Zero's digging your hole for you, you're not learning your lesson, are you?" adds the Warden.

"Well, why can't I still dig my hole and teach him how to read?" A dark silence sweeps over.

"Because I said so," the Warden mumbles.

"We know you mean well, Stanley," says Pendanki, "But the mental stress just causes his brain too much of a...challenge. That's what made his blood boil, not the hot sun." Then, Zero finally speaks up.

"I'm not digging any more holes."

"Good."

Pendanski reaches over and snatches the shovel out of Ziggy's hand.

"I mean, you might as well teach this shovel to read." He tosses it to Zero.

"Here, take it, Zero. It's all you'll ever be good for. D-I-G. What's that spell?" he taunts for the final time. Fed up, I clench my fists and open my mouth to speak. Zero doesn't even think about it before slamming the shovel to Pendanski's side of his face.

"Dig."

Then, the miraculous boy races off across the holes to the open death beyond. As if a firework has gone off in Camp Green Lake, cheers erupt.

"Go Zero!" screams Stanley. I notice all of D-tent cheering as well. So, without a shadow of doubt, I raise my arms up, slap on a genuine smile, and cheer along.

The way back isn't very cheerful at all. The Warden makes us go back to the camp early—which I'm not complaining—and we sit quietly in the tent. I tighten the grip on my hair, wound in my hand. The campers just stared down or at each other. No one is ecstatic about Zero's escape. In fact, we miss him...a lot.

I lift up my eyes and watch the sadness drift through everyone. Quietly, I reach behind me and grab a hat that is on top of my new jumpsuit. When my fingers touch its rim, a electric shock runs up my arm.

_"Is that a picture?" He asked. Picture?_

_"What are you talking about?" Zig cocked his eyebrow._

_"The one in your hand?" I glanced down at the thing in my hand and laughed. It was the picture of my arrival to the mental hospital. It was of me in the doorway with a thumbs up and a big grin._

_"This one is funny." He glanced over at it._

_"Who's the girl?" He asked._

_"Oh that's m-That's my sister, she's older now." He smiled a crazy smile._

_"Who is she? How old?" How old? Who?_

_"Um, Daphne. She's 16 now," ZigZag smirked._

_"Is she single?"_

_I froze._

_I freaking froze._

_He was pretty much asking me out in terms. I couldn't believe he was asking if Da–I was single._

_"Yeah, she' single. It was her first time to the mental hospital. She lives there now."_

_"You're kidding, really?" I had to say mental hospital. Why couldn't I've said hospital, period? No mental. I decided to go along with the mental hospital._

_"Nah, Daphne was sweet but had a vivid imagination. I never found too much wrong with her. You'd like her, Ziggy." He smiled and touched my face in the picture._

_"Mind if I keep it for a while?" He asked._

_"Keep it? Why? What's wrong, man?" He sighed and sat back._

_"I don't know any people who are like me. I don't have many life-lines either. Caveman calls them that. They're like things you bring that are relations to home. Well, I'm out and, sorry to ask, I need something to keep me up—even if It's not my memory."_

_My heart crumbled._

_I was so tempted to rip off my hat and hug him tightly. It would've felt so perfect. But, I couldn't do it. I just handed ZigZag my photo, suddenly feeling he needed it more than I did._

_"You're letting me borrow it?" I smiled and pressed it to him._

_"I'm letting you have it. Daphne would do it. Brother to a brother?" Then, it clicked. Something wafered through us. It was an honest friendship developing. We were actually becoming friends. ZigZag smirked and thumbed the edge of my picture._

_"Thanks, Little Man, you're pretty cool." I beamed._

_"Thank, Zig." I crawled back to my shelf thing and reminisced more._

My eyes open to see night settling in. Everyone is asleep. My fingers are still clutched around the hat. Simon. I remember him...or her. I remember being Simon. Inside, I'm glad I'm alone. I loosen my grip around the hat and tuck it back into my bag. My head falls on the hard pillow, and it doesn't take long until I'm unconscious.


	30. Driving Through Desert

**Hello guys, I have been meaning to put this chapter up. Finally, I've managed to co,e up with an ending that I'm satisfied with. This is gonna be great. The next chapter or so will be a good clear-up for everyone and it'll finish some things. I really hope you enjoy and thank you!**

**~M&M**

When I wake, the day is still very young. I climb up and try to shake the memory that attacked me yesterday. The memory of the picture, Zig's smile. That happened. Whatever the hell has been itching away at me is real. I missed out on it.

I climb out and jerk Zigzag awake. He wakes up with a start, his hair sticking up in all directions.

"What?" he panics.

"I remembered again." He cocked an eyebrow in the darkness.

"Not now. It's in the middle of the night, and I'm exhausted. Goodnight," he remarked.

"No," I demanded, shaking him again.

"I'm having these flashbacks of moments I've never experienced, but somehow, I know they happened. I just saw myself giving you that picture of me in the hospital," I explained eagerly, "and it's not just that. I remembered my first bus ride here, pretending to be a guy, my first kiss…"

He sits back up.

"It's coming back to you like you said. This is great." A smile forms on his lips. I sigh casually.

"You were right about all those things. She was a pretty good person."

He nods.

"That doesn't matter anymore. She's never dead. She's only being born again."

The morning is easier for me. I realized what these weird flashbacks are last night, so the ones in the morning don't scare me. Like Zig said, this is great. We dig in silence as always. My hands feel like they're on fire. I'm trying to recall the numbers of days or months I've been here. I don't even know how long I'm supposed to be here.

I'd guess around a year or so. I really do wonder how long I've been here. Many questions form in my mind like clouds.

Despite all that I remember one thing. It never faded or faltered once. I remember being told, by who I now know is X-ray, that no matter what you did before—no matter who you were—everyone is basically the same in Green Lake. The truth of that is frightening. The statement makes me feel normal. Maybe he says it to make everyone around him feel better. It might help. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe he only says it to make himself feel better.

Honestly, I don't care. Honestly, I'm done with being different people. I'm sick and tired of losing things and regaining only bits and pieces. I know that I at least want to be someone. Now, it seems I'm several people. Days pass and nothing happens. A new boy named Brian comes and, of course, X-Ray is making his life a living hell. He twitches an awful lot, and he acting like he's known us for years. He doesn't talk to Zig and me though. No one talks to us. We just dig.

It's a normal day on the dead lake, and the long time period makes me wonder why nothing's come back to me. I shovel again and throw the dirt over my shoulder. There's a clash of the dirt hitting something and a chuckle. I turn around and see that I hit Zigzag with the dirt. He smiles, and I eventually do too. Then, he reaches into his pile and pulls out a handful of dirt, aimed at me. My eyes widen, and I back up, laughing. He launches it at me, and I can't help but start throwing dirt back at him. We grab the attention of other campers. They start a dirt fight with us, joking around and attracting the attention of the counselors. I can't help but grab my stomach in laughter. Dust floats through the air, and it's difficult to see anyone. But, I'm so happy. It's like a battlefield. We're crouched in our little ditches with dirt grenades. The party doesn't last long because the counselors catch us, and the truck rolls up.

"What in the hell is this?" Mr. Sir barks at us. I can't hold back my snicker. All of D-tent is lined up in front of him. Mr. Sir walks up to me, not minding personal space a bit.

"What's that?" he grunted. My confidence doesn't falter the least bit.

"Should've been out there, Mr. Sir. It was fun." He stares at me grimly. Then, with a handful of anger, he slaps me across the face. I stumble to the side, and the venomous burn takes over my cheek. Zig steps forward, angrier than Mr. Sir. The man then moves to Zig, snatches his chin up in his claw, and glares at him.

"You listen well, there's no horse-playing in this here camp. Hear me? If I get word about something like this again, I swear I'll-"

Then, there's the roar of the truck engine springing to life. No one's in the truck! My eyes search around but find Stanley and Twitch missing. _Stanley_!

"Shift it into gear!" a voice calls. Mr. Sir franticly hobbles to the car, but it's already racing across the dried dirt floor. D-Tenters begin cheering and shouting. The truck seems to be making a quick getaway, but failure is inevitable with all these holes. I know what he's doing. Stanley's going to find Zero. A smile creeps on my lips, and I cheer with em. Right as I did, the truck tips and crash lands in a hole—like I predicted. There's a flash of silence throughout the group. Then, a boy climbs out, and the cheering commences; it's Stanley, stupid and ambitious Stanley. Without an ounce of hesitaion, he starts running. He races off through the desert. Mr. Sir is panicking about his truck, and I'm glad I threw that shovelful of dirt.


End file.
